Audrey #6

Embarrassment is the worst.

Why do i always let myself be embarrassed by things? Why is it that i cannot stand up and try harder? Why can't i just BE A MAN.

If only I was more like Anna! A few weeks ago I would never have thought of her in such an admiring way, but truly...she is my new ASPIRATION.

Perhaps other people may have managed to pull together sketchy Latin assignments at the last moment. To be kind to a freakish, friendless nerd. To play sport with such skill.

However...Audrey sees only Anna who has done these things. Yes, Anna is truly an inspiration to us all. How could I ever have said that she did not contribute at all to our assignment? That she was totally guy-obsessed and unreliable?

No. No, if I ever said those things, it was because i did not fully understand the truth of Anna at the time.

At that time she had not yet redeemed herself in the eyes of Audrey as...a friend.

I find it so strange to think these words and yet...she said it herself! "Audrey, you're not that bad at netball."

She must be the kindest person i have ever met.

In the spare before our latin assignment was due..when Autumn was incessantly talking on her phone...as I stressed (as inevitably occurs) and was useless...Anna saved us all, by remaining calm, working hard and displaying a remarkable intelligence previously unseen by the (or so i thought) all-seeing Audrey.

During the deep dark hellish hole that was netball training...when others ignored me...when I sank further into the depths of embarrassment...of lack of ball skills...

Anna was kind to me.

How can I ever forget those words?

Anna, you are a true friend.

Anna and the Pain

Don't you just hate those days that never go right? Your hair won't comb down properly and there's a lump at the back, then, you drop part of your breakfast onto your uniform, and then, just to make things worse, the people at school are GAY.

Well, to be specific, Autumn and Audrey are just too annoying.

I hate it how I feel like the odd-ball out when we have to be together. Every moment is a torture. It's like they already have this connection even though they can't like each other. I mean hello, Audrey's a REJECT for Pete's sake. Autumn's a FRIGGIN PEROXIDE. THE TWO DON'T MIX. It doesn't make sense. If anything, shouldn't it be me that's the one who's the go-between? Shouldn't I be the one who Autumn talks to in a low-voice in the back row? Or shouldn't I be the one who whispers a reply to Audrey?

Don't get me wrong. I'm not jealous. Why would I be? I'm not even friends with them. It just annoys me.

That's why I decided to finally finish the dodgy latin assignment that Audrey and Autumn started. Frankly, I felt a bit guilty since I've done nothing about it for two weeks and the last time I might have mentioned it was when I was PMS-y (that was the time when I mentioned Wikipedia). And then we handed it in. And now I feel hot and flustered. Audrey and Autumn annoy me. They infuriate me. How dare they leave me hanging. WE'RE A GROUP DAMMIT. WHEN DID THEY BECOME SO CLOSE?

There must be a story behind this sudden friendship. What happened? Autumn's mobile went off in the middle of Latin (when did Autumn have one? I must get her number...) and suddenly she shared a look with Audrey. Then, afterwards they left together in a hurry without even say a goodbye to me.

Don't get the wrong idea, I wasn't expecting them to say bye to me. It's just that it was a group project and I was in the group. Right?

NO. NO. I have issues. It's obvious that I have jealousy issues that shouldn't even exist. It's not like they're my friends, are they? It's not like I'm friends with them like I am with Jadee is it? Why should I be annoyed if they're in a little exclusive club that I can't even join. DO I LOOK LIKE I CARE?

I really don't. But Jadee disagrees with me.

Jadee: You know, Anna, you have serious problems. What's so good about those two anyway? Don't tell me you want be that buddy-buddy with them.

Me: No. I'm not concerned by it. I'm just interested to know how they got so close even though I didn't. It's not like they spent any more time together than I did. Plus, this doesn't add much to my ego, you know. I pride myself on being someone who can be friends with anyone. Even you. The cynical you.

Jadee: I'm not cynical. I'm a realist. Take it as you will. Take my advice, get over it. Move on. There are more interesting things to think about. Have you noticed how close Francesca and Holly are nowadays? Francesca's serious competition for you. You'd better be careful if you want to be school captain.

Me: JADEE. Can't you just advise me for a moment? It's obvious that I'm not going to get over it. I NEED TO BE A PART OF THEIR EXCLUSIVITY. Is that a word?

Jadee: Then... try and be nice to them. I'm sure they'll like you more then.

Me: ... right.

But in the end, I took her advice. I said that Audrey played netball well. It's going to be Autumn next.

Audrey #5

I may have given the impression that I harboured some kind of admiration for Autumn.

I would like to say that this is not the truth at all.

She's dumb, shallow, conceited and can't even write out information in her own words. 

I mean like...as if that information sheet on Augustus she sent to me was written by her. I refuse to believe that she knew all that just from her own reading in the past.

What is she supposed to be, anyway? Nerdy?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

So anyway after she gave me that PLAGIARISED sheet following our friendly and pleasant conversation on the phone, it turned out that it somehow had all the relevant information I  needed. How lucky. I think Autumn is just blessed with luck. Like her flawlessly foundation plastered face and well proportioned chest with implants. And the fact that she has me to write her assignment for her...

I think I should go for School Captain. I totally think everyone would vote for me.

...

Actually I heard something shocking the other day. I was on my way to the Music School to do some much-needed violin practice (I know. I know. Why do I force upon others the jarring sound of badly played violin? Indeed, why do I force it upon myself? Why not simply give up? And yet I cannot, for it is only through violin that I can truly connect with ...he.......um. Moving on.) WHEN I HEARD some horrifying words. Let me quote.

"Hey, so who do you think's going to get School Captain?"
"Hm I don't really know...some people have said Anna...you know Anna Lee, right?"
"Oh, yeah. Do you really think so? I guess she is quite popular, and she's always really nice.."
"She kind of looks like a man though..."
"*laughter* That's probably part of her appeal..."

UM. WHAT THE HELL? ANNA? MUSIC SCHOOL SINGING INCIDENT ANNA?

ANNA SCHOOL CAPTAIN?

I am sorry, but no. I think not.

She's unreliable and incompetent. I cannot believe she asked me to use Wikipedia to find out information on Augustus. See, we can't have a School Captain who uses WIKIPEDIA. She doesn't even contribute properly to group assignments. Also, she seems really guy obsessed. I bet she's trying to meet up with guys from Sean Exeter before Human Relations, so that she can be all like omg look how cool I am i have guyfriends.

Ahh. I swear, I am so sick of the whole year level. This stupid sex ed program is not even tomorrow. it is NEXT WEEK. That's like, seven whole days before you can even set eyes on those of the not-so-fair gender. Who even cares? Think of all the maths tests you could fail in that time. I practically failed my last maths test. 22/30 for Analysis, oh my god. I'm trying to get my brother to tutor me, but it's not working. I think I am truly a lost cause.

I feel bitchy today. I think it's probably because I stayed up too late doing Latin last night. I wasn't able to practise my beloved oboe. I fail at violin so much. It's depressing. Anyway.

Wow. Is that Autumn I see? Where is her makeup? Oh god. Is that a pimple???

I don't know if i should laugh or cry. There is a pimple on Autumn Nguyen's forehead.

Well, what can I say. At this rate, we'll soon become best friends and Anna will start going out with one of those Sean Exeter guys she seems so obsessed with. Oh yay. Maybe i'll be able to witness Anna and Anna's boyfriend, dressed in exactly the same way!

Come to think of it, i've never asked Anna where she gets her clothes...

i'm pretty sure she frequents men's stores, though.

That's okay! Men's clothing looks good on Anna. Yeah. I wonder if I'll be able to tell her and her boyfriend apart!

Okay, I think that brief conversation with Autumn has stimulated my bitchiness area, formerly asleep. But what to do? I KIND OF LIKE IT.

I definitely need to sleep more. And I need to find out when our next maths test is, so I can study for it. Not that I'll end up studying for it, but whatever.

If Autumn gets a higher mark than me, I will scream.

I actually think she got a higher mark than me last time. Not that I know. everyone is super secretive about their marks for some reason. I have a feeling it's because they can't deal with my large and beautiful glasses. I wonder what Anna said about them. Such a...normal girl.

I NEED TO STUDY.

oh god. Latin assignment.

well, let's see...Anna...wait..it's Audrey (oops. can't tell the difference between them anymore.) somehow stalked me and found my number. She called my house. I swear she stalked me.

stalker: "Hello...is this um...Autumn?"

Well duh.Omg. i think i recognise this voice.It can't be! No, she wouldn't have the nerves "Hey...who is this?"

stalker: "um. it's Audrey. I'm just wondering about the emperor assignment..." (I pretty sure it was Audrey. that rusty-bicycle voice)

OMG. it's due tomorrow. damnit. "Oh...okay. Um. Have you..er..done it?"

stalker: "Well...not really.I'm considering doing the research now, but i'm not sure how we should be splitting this up."

oh god. Why? Why do you have to put me through this? "Um. Well...I know a bit about Augustus, so i think i can send the info to you. are you able to write it up? sorry i have a date tonight...and i don't think i'd have time to do it properly."

and thus i revealed my true nerdy nature. All i have to do now is wait for the rumour to spread..like a contagious disease around the school...slowly...painfully crippling me into...*mental blank* damnit. hold the suspense.

Well i think i gave her a heart-attack then because there was a short strangled sound on the other end of the line...then silence. Maybe i was wrong. Maybe Audrey would take the secret about my nerdiness with her to her tomb. wishful thinking.

Stalker: "Um. okay. do you have my email address?"

she's alive. "um. no. um " i don't stalk people. "Um. and how did you get my number?"

stalker: "it was in the class contact list."

"oh..." Damn. why didn't i think of that? Oops. I withdraw my accusation...XD

I can't remember how i managed to scare her away, but i did. So, I racked my brain for all i know about Augustus and sent them to her. I'm pretty sure most of the facts are wrong. BUT ANYTHING GOES WHEN YOU"RE DESPERATE. All you need is confidence, then people always believe you. I actually won a debate once on pure improvisation...but then again it's probably just my amazing beauty that stunned the adjudicator.

So. Human Relations with Sean Exeter. eww...wait, I think Henry goes there. I saw him again last week. His school finished early so I asked him to come to see me. i can't believe he actually rode his bike for one and a half hour...in the rain. poor guy. I meet him at the gate and we walked to the stations to go to his apartment in the city.


i think the rain somehow melted my wall...of superiority and selfishness. So no, I was not flirting with Henry ...because he's a friend. Okay, okay, i can feel myself going into the reflective mood. So i shall move on before i say anything regrettable.

OMG. do i like Henry? that never crossed my mind before. I already have a boyfriend, yes. BUT. *sigh* even if i do like him...i don't think i want to date him.

woah. i think it's way past my bed time. no wonder i'm being so rambly and weird. wait, i don't think rambly is even a word. oh god. i'm losing my braincells.

I hope Audrey is actually doing that assignment. I gave her all the information and allowed her to glimpse my nerdiness. She should be grateful.

Anna and the Ode

I really can’t get over how cheesy this whole situation is. It’s like this Latin project has been taken straight from one of those corny teenage flicks: three protagonists drawn together by one mutual quest – to get an A+ — and suddenly everyone becomes friends.

Oh puh-lease. Spare me. I don’t think we’re even near to getting an A+ on this, let alone even near the B section. It’s not like I know anything about Emperor Augustus. Wasn’t he some emperor or something?

It seems like Audrey knows something about this assignment. I’m in the opinion that she should undertake this task strictly on a solo basis. Take our last Latin lesson as an example:

“Um. So. Guys. I think we should research about this Augustus person.” (Audrey says with a stroke of absolute brilliance.)

“You think?” (Autumn has such a sarcastic tone that it really makes my tongue curl. I wonder whether I should attempt to copy her speaking style?)

“Right well. I’ll go down to the library shall I? Um. I’ll start looking him up.” (Audrey blinks a lot while she talks. Why I’ve never noticed this until now eludes me. Oh that’s right, I haven’t ever talked to her. Ha ha ha. Oh Anna, you’re so funny.)

“Yeah that’s a good idea. Try looking up on Wikipedia or something.” (Anna, you’re just amazing you. If you hadn’t contributed that piece of information, that Audrey would have probably floundered around on Google. That is if she knows what Google is…)

(Long Pause)

“Umm… I’m not sure whether Wikipedia is regarded as a legitimate resource…” (Audrey says this in a hesitant voice. So she should! How dare she!!! Oh the nerve…)

“Excuse me but when was Wikipedia not thought of as a ‘legitimate resource’?” (Oh Anna, encore at the cool but peeved off tone. Encore!)

“Like, I’ll be going now since you won’t be needing me.” (Did Autumn just walk out of the door in full-view of everyone?! Did she?! My gosh, I admire her.)

(Long Pause)

“Um. Come to think of it, I think I made some printouts of Augustus already…”

So that’s what it was. Well go her. As far as I’m concerned, Audrey can handle the assignment all on her own, with or without the help of Wikipedia. There are more useful things to think about, such as the upcoming Human Relations with Sean Exeter.

Perhaps I’ll see Tram Boy there.

And Ode to Tram Boy

Dearest, most loveliest Tram Boy,
So long have I gazed at you,
Knowing that every moment increases my joy,
But only if you really knew,
How much I long for you.

Tall, dashing young man, I know that you are the only one for me. Just seeing you once a day is enough for me and even then, it’s enough to wash away all the troubles with those pesky classmates of mine. Surely one day, I will talk to you and even ask your name. Maybe one day, you’ll smile for me. Maybe…

Get a hold of yourself Anna.

Audrey #4

The Emperor assignment is due tomorrow.

And, yes. As predicted, the Amazing A-group has, as yet, failed to do anything at all involving our chosen emperor, Augustus. (I know. Apparently there is an emperor whose name begins with the same letter as my own.) Due to my lack of interest in Augustus, I don't have any prior knowledge that would enable me to do the assignment without research.

In fact we had our first discussion about it today. It went...badly.

I have blocked it from my mind. Yes.

So, basically, we have done nothing.

Which is why, right now, I should be either researching, writing the report, or talking to Autumn or Anna. Ugh. Just the thought of doing any of those makes me feel annoyance, fear and vague anger.

Instead, I am thinking about the amazing concert I attended last night with my family, and freaking out about the reallyhairy spider on the wall.

Part of me is stressed about this latin assignment, but currently that part is being overwhelmed by my rapture over Rimsky-Korsakov's Scheherezade and also my extreme fear that the spider on the wall will suddenly start to move around or perhaps

FALL ON MY HEAD.

It is probably unhealthy to do this, but I find myself imagining how it would feel to have the spider tangling in my hair as I slowly reach backwards and scratch my head and feel the hairiness of its eight black legs then bring back my hand and see it resting on my palm and running down my arm...

OKAY. Let's not speak of this anymore, I feel the hysteria welling up inside my SOUL.

So anyway.

The stupid latin assignment. I don't even know what to do now. Like, it's due tomorrow, and we have done absolutely nothing. I mean, I've barely spoken to Autumn or Anna about it. Not that either of them have tried to do anything. I bet they don't care if they get bad marks. I mean, just one look at Autumn's heavily made-up face as she dismissively talks about the number of guys she's rejected and you can tell that she doesn't care one bit about her ENTER score. I wonder what her parents have been doing, honestly.

and Anna...well, she's not much better. I noticed her and one of her hopelessly normal friends talking about the upcoming Kilmore and Sean Exeter Human Relations program. Why is everyone at our school so guy-obsessed? And like...seriously, who would want to even meet guys from

WAIT A MINUTE DOES HE GO TO SEAN EXETER????

Dammit. Audrey, search your troubled, maths-incompetent mind.

Does he?

Does he???

Where else could he go? I have a feeling he may have transferred there this year..

Sudden change of feeling on my part. Ohmygod, going to see him. I have to look really amazing. I have to make sure he doesn't talk to Autumn. I have to make sure nobody else talks to him so that he can't find out how retarded I really am. I have to -

Write my stupid Latin assignment, dammit. What am I going to do?

DO NOT THINK ABOUT GUY RIGHT NOW

Yes. Yes. I think that you should give yourself some courage, Audrey, and pick up the phone and dial Anna's number from the class list you were given at the start of this year.

Or maybe Autumn.

...no. no. Anna. Autumn??

Generally I would choose Anna, but after the singing incident...

She stares at me weirdly when I talk, too. Her eyebrows twitch in a creepy way. Even without talking to her face-to-face, i don't think I can handle it.

So..

"Hello, this is Audrey. May I please speak to Autumn?"

"Um, I'm from Autumn's class. In her school. Kilmore."

"Okay. Thanks."

...

(GO LINH GO WRITE IT WRITE IT i can't ><)

Autumn again

WARNING: (most) teachers are smarter than they look. My adventure with my beloved Henry ends with me sitting in detention. So let's see who's here: Anna (why, hello!), Audrey(What is she doing here!Hm...maybe she's in here voluntarily), Jemma (as usual - gosh, what is wrong with her?), Nameless-Girl (She looks so emo it's freaky. She should cut her fringe), and a few more dull, faceless souls. Of course, and there is Mrs J. J for Jelly; J for Jobs, J for James, J for...well. ahem. Let's leave it as just 'J' shall we?

She is typing away on her laptop: I bet she's on Facebook. OMG [note: G is for Gosh not "GOD"], are they cankles? I've never noticed that, despite spending five hours a week with her. But then again, maybe that's because I enjoy the view outside the window rather than staring dotingly at her.

I'm going to kill myself now.The silence is sucking me in!

My greeting (in the form of a discreet wave) has just met with stone-cold faces. Fine. Bitch.

Well, maybe I should study for my Latin grammar test next period. But then again Mrs J. is here. She'd kill me if she sees me studying 'last minute'. hm. Anna seems to be doing it. She's hiding the vocab list behind Jane Austen's "Persuasion" though. Damn, I should have brought a book along.

OMG, Emperor assignment due in two days! OMG! Stupid Mrs J. She is now glaring suspiciously around the room. She should go to the gym. geez. What is the point of memorising how many walls some dead guy built two thousand years ago? How does that help with our Latin, Mrs J.? Perhaps she has nothing better to do, and she wants to see us suffer so that she can laugh about it on Facebook. I'll swear I'll find her profile tonight.

I wonder if Anna or Audrey has done it. hmmm...no,they look too guilty to have done it. Damn. Shocking as it may seem but they are my partner for the project. Mrs J. decided to mix up the class so that we can work with different people and 'expand our friendship circles'. As if - with Anna and Audrey? Don't make me laugh.

I really think that Audrey girl is stalking me. Arr. She always gaze at me with her gazing at me with her glassy eyes. Calm down Autumn. Calm down. You're being paranoid.

Smile, "Hi Audrey".

I love you too.

OMG! I'm going to die.

portem
portes
portet
portemus
portetis
portent

This is bad, i don't even know what I'm supposed to do for the assignment! Okay, serious dilemma here: should I call/msn Anna/Audrey tonight to talk to them about it? I can not risk being seen with them you see. That would be bad.

TO be or not to be, that is the question. And the other unanswerable question of all time is: "What is Audrey/Anna's number?"

Oh, there are so many questions in life!