Anna and the Ode

I really can’t get over how cheesy this whole situation is. It’s like this Latin project has been taken straight from one of those corny teenage flicks: three protagonists drawn together by one mutual quest – to get an A+ — and suddenly everyone becomes friends.

Oh puh-lease. Spare me. I don’t think we’re even near to getting an A+ on this, let alone even near the B section. It’s not like I know anything about Emperor Augustus. Wasn’t he some emperor or something?

It seems like Audrey knows something about this assignment. I’m in the opinion that she should undertake this task strictly on a solo basis. Take our last Latin lesson as an example:

“Um. So. Guys. I think we should research about this Augustus person.” (Audrey says with a stroke of absolute brilliance.)

“You think?” (Autumn has such a sarcastic tone that it really makes my tongue curl. I wonder whether I should attempt to copy her speaking style?)

“Right well. I’ll go down to the library shall I? Um. I’ll start looking him up.” (Audrey blinks a lot while she talks. Why I’ve never noticed this until now eludes me. Oh that’s right, I haven’t ever talked to her. Ha ha ha. Oh Anna, you’re so funny.)

“Yeah that’s a good idea. Try looking up on Wikipedia or something.” (Anna, you’re just amazing you. If you hadn’t contributed that piece of information, that Audrey would have probably floundered around on Google. That is if she knows what Google is…)

(Long Pause)

“Umm… I’m not sure whether Wikipedia is regarded as a legitimate resource…” (Audrey says this in a hesitant voice. So she should! How dare she!!! Oh the nerve…)

“Excuse me but when was Wikipedia not thought of as a ‘legitimate resource’?” (Oh Anna, encore at the cool but peeved off tone. Encore!)

“Like, I’ll be going now since you won’t be needing me.” (Did Autumn just walk out of the door in full-view of everyone?! Did she?! My gosh, I admire her.)

(Long Pause)

“Um. Come to think of it, I think I made some printouts of Augustus already…”

So that’s what it was. Well go her. As far as I’m concerned, Audrey can handle the assignment all on her own, with or without the help of Wikipedia. There are more useful things to think about, such as the upcoming Human Relations with Sean Exeter.

Perhaps I’ll see Tram Boy there.

And Ode to Tram Boy

Dearest, most loveliest Tram Boy,
So long have I gazed at you,
Knowing that every moment increases my joy,
But only if you really knew,
How much I long for you.

Tall, dashing young man, I know that you are the only one for me. Just seeing you once a day is enough for me and even then, it’s enough to wash away all the troubles with those pesky classmates of mine. Surely one day, I will talk to you and even ask your name. Maybe one day, you’ll smile for me. Maybe…

Get a hold of yourself Anna.

Audrey #4

The Emperor assignment is due tomorrow.

And, yes. As predicted, the Amazing A-group has, as yet, failed to do anything at all involving our chosen emperor, Augustus. (I know. Apparently there is an emperor whose name begins with the same letter as my own.) Due to my lack of interest in Augustus, I don't have any prior knowledge that would enable me to do the assignment without research.

In fact we had our first discussion about it today. It went...badly.

I have blocked it from my mind. Yes.

So, basically, we have done nothing.

Which is why, right now, I should be either researching, writing the report, or talking to Autumn or Anna. Ugh. Just the thought of doing any of those makes me feel annoyance, fear and vague anger.

Instead, I am thinking about the amazing concert I attended last night with my family, and freaking out about the reallyhairy spider on the wall.

Part of me is stressed about this latin assignment, but currently that part is being overwhelmed by my rapture over Rimsky-Korsakov's Scheherezade and also my extreme fear that the spider on the wall will suddenly start to move around or perhaps

FALL ON MY HEAD.

It is probably unhealthy to do this, but I find myself imagining how it would feel to have the spider tangling in my hair as I slowly reach backwards and scratch my head and feel the hairiness of its eight black legs then bring back my hand and see it resting on my palm and running down my arm...

OKAY. Let's not speak of this anymore, I feel the hysteria welling up inside my SOUL.

So anyway.

The stupid latin assignment. I don't even know what to do now. Like, it's due tomorrow, and we have done absolutely nothing. I mean, I've barely spoken to Autumn or Anna about it. Not that either of them have tried to do anything. I bet they don't care if they get bad marks. I mean, just one look at Autumn's heavily made-up face as she dismissively talks about the number of guys she's rejected and you can tell that she doesn't care one bit about her ENTER score. I wonder what her parents have been doing, honestly.

and Anna...well, she's not much better. I noticed her and one of her hopelessly normal friends talking about the upcoming Kilmore and Sean Exeter Human Relations program. Why is everyone at our school so guy-obsessed? And like...seriously, who would want to even meet guys from

WAIT A MINUTE DOES HE GO TO SEAN EXETER????

Dammit. Audrey, search your troubled, maths-incompetent mind.

Does he?

Does he???

Where else could he go? I have a feeling he may have transferred there this year..

Sudden change of feeling on my part. Ohmygod, going to see him. I have to look really amazing. I have to make sure he doesn't talk to Autumn. I have to make sure nobody else talks to him so that he can't find out how retarded I really am. I have to -

Write my stupid Latin assignment, dammit. What am I going to do?

DO NOT THINK ABOUT GUY RIGHT NOW

Yes. Yes. I think that you should give yourself some courage, Audrey, and pick up the phone and dial Anna's number from the class list you were given at the start of this year.

Or maybe Autumn.

...no. no. Anna. Autumn??

Generally I would choose Anna, but after the singing incident...

She stares at me weirdly when I talk, too. Her eyebrows twitch in a creepy way. Even without talking to her face-to-face, i don't think I can handle it.

So..

"Hello, this is Audrey. May I please speak to Autumn?"

"Um, I'm from Autumn's class. In her school. Kilmore."

"Okay. Thanks."

...

(GO LINH GO WRITE IT WRITE IT i can't ><)