PLAN FOR REVIVAL

use narrator? responsibility ofkath.

we seem to be having some issues.

more autumnal posts please.

if you are having troubles with writing, then seriously, WRITE ANYTHING. WE'LL EDIT IT LATER.

Audrey #6

Embarrassment is the worst.

Why do i always let myself be embarrassed by things? Why is it that i cannot stand up and try harder? Why can't i just BE A MAN.

If only I was more like Anna! A few weeks ago I would never have thought of her in such an admiring way, but truly...she is my new ASPIRATION.

Perhaps other people may have managed to pull together sketchy Latin assignments at the last moment. To be kind to a freakish, friendless nerd. To play sport with such skill.

However...Audrey sees only Anna who has done these things. Yes, Anna is truly an inspiration to us all. How could I ever have said that she did not contribute at all to our assignment? That she was totally guy-obsessed and unreliable?

No. No, if I ever said those things, it was because i did not fully understand the truth of Anna at the time.

At that time she had not yet redeemed herself in the eyes of Audrey as...a friend.

I find it so strange to think these words and yet...she said it herself! "Audrey, you're not that bad at netball."

She must be the kindest person i have ever met.

In the spare before our latin assignment was due..when Autumn was incessantly talking on her phone...as I stressed (as inevitably occurs) and was useless...Anna saved us all, by remaining calm, working hard and displaying a remarkable intelligence previously unseen by the (or so i thought) all-seeing Audrey.

During the deep dark hellish hole that was netball training...when others ignored me...when I sank further into the depths of embarrassment...of lack of ball skills...

Anna was kind to me.

How can I ever forget those words?

Anna, you are a true friend.

Anna and the Pain

Don't you just hate those days that never go right? Your hair won't comb down properly and there's a lump at the back, then, you drop part of your breakfast onto your uniform, and then, just to make things worse, the people at school are GAY.

Well, to be specific, Autumn and Audrey are just too annoying.

I hate it how I feel like the odd-ball out when we have to be together. Every moment is a torture. It's like they already have this connection even though they can't like each other. I mean hello, Audrey's a REJECT for Pete's sake. Autumn's a FRIGGIN PEROXIDE. THE TWO DON'T MIX. It doesn't make sense. If anything, shouldn't it be me that's the one who's the go-between? Shouldn't I be the one who Autumn talks to in a low-voice in the back row? Or shouldn't I be the one who whispers a reply to Audrey?

Don't get me wrong. I'm not jealous. Why would I be? I'm not even friends with them. It just annoys me.

That's why I decided to finally finish the dodgy latin assignment that Audrey and Autumn started. Frankly, I felt a bit guilty since I've done nothing about it for two weeks and the last time I might have mentioned it was when I was PMS-y (that was the time when I mentioned Wikipedia). And then we handed it in. And now I feel hot and flustered. Audrey and Autumn annoy me. They infuriate me. How dare they leave me hanging. WE'RE A GROUP DAMMIT. WHEN DID THEY BECOME SO CLOSE?

There must be a story behind this sudden friendship. What happened? Autumn's mobile went off in the middle of Latin (when did Autumn have one? I must get her number...) and suddenly she shared a look with Audrey. Then, afterwards they left together in a hurry without even say a goodbye to me.

Don't get the wrong idea, I wasn't expecting them to say bye to me. It's just that it was a group project and I was in the group. Right?

NO. NO. I have issues. It's obvious that I have jealousy issues that shouldn't even exist. It's not like they're my friends, are they? It's not like I'm friends with them like I am with Jadee is it? Why should I be annoyed if they're in a little exclusive club that I can't even join. DO I LOOK LIKE I CARE?

I really don't. But Jadee disagrees with me.

Jadee: You know, Anna, you have serious problems. What's so good about those two anyway? Don't tell me you want be that buddy-buddy with them.

Me: No. I'm not concerned by it. I'm just interested to know how they got so close even though I didn't. It's not like they spent any more time together than I did. Plus, this doesn't add much to my ego, you know. I pride myself on being someone who can be friends with anyone. Even you. The cynical you.

Jadee: I'm not cynical. I'm a realist. Take it as you will. Take my advice, get over it. Move on. There are more interesting things to think about. Have you noticed how close Francesca and Holly are nowadays? Francesca's serious competition for you. You'd better be careful if you want to be school captain.

Me: JADEE. Can't you just advise me for a moment? It's obvious that I'm not going to get over it. I NEED TO BE A PART OF THEIR EXCLUSIVITY. Is that a word?

Jadee: Then... try and be nice to them. I'm sure they'll like you more then.

Me: ... right.

But in the end, I took her advice. I said that Audrey played netball well. It's going to be Autumn next.

Audrey #5

I may have given the impression that I harboured some kind of admiration for Autumn.

I would like to say that this is not the truth at all.

She's dumb, shallow, conceited and can't even write out information in her own words. 

I mean like...as if that information sheet on Augustus she sent to me was written by her. I refuse to believe that she knew all that just from her own reading in the past.

What is she supposed to be, anyway? Nerdy?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

So anyway after she gave me that PLAGIARISED sheet following our friendly and pleasant conversation on the phone, it turned out that it somehow had all the relevant information I  needed. How lucky. I think Autumn is just blessed with luck. Like her flawlessly foundation plastered face and well proportioned chest with implants. And the fact that she has me to write her assignment for her...

I think I should go for School Captain. I totally think everyone would vote for me.

...

Actually I heard something shocking the other day. I was on my way to the Music School to do some much-needed violin practice (I know. I know. Why do I force upon others the jarring sound of badly played violin? Indeed, why do I force it upon myself? Why not simply give up? And yet I cannot, for it is only through violin that I can truly connect with ...he.......um. Moving on.) WHEN I HEARD some horrifying words. Let me quote.

"Hey, so who do you think's going to get School Captain?"
"Hm I don't really know...some people have said Anna...you know Anna Lee, right?"
"Oh, yeah. Do you really think so? I guess she is quite popular, and she's always really nice.."
"She kind of looks like a man though..."
"*laughter* That's probably part of her appeal..."

UM. WHAT THE HELL? ANNA? MUSIC SCHOOL SINGING INCIDENT ANNA?

ANNA SCHOOL CAPTAIN?

I am sorry, but no. I think not.

She's unreliable and incompetent. I cannot believe she asked me to use Wikipedia to find out information on Augustus. See, we can't have a School Captain who uses WIKIPEDIA. She doesn't even contribute properly to group assignments. Also, she seems really guy obsessed. I bet she's trying to meet up with guys from Sean Exeter before Human Relations, so that she can be all like omg look how cool I am i have guyfriends.

Ahh. I swear, I am so sick of the whole year level. This stupid sex ed program is not even tomorrow. it is NEXT WEEK. That's like, seven whole days before you can even set eyes on those of the not-so-fair gender. Who even cares? Think of all the maths tests you could fail in that time. I practically failed my last maths test. 22/30 for Analysis, oh my god. I'm trying to get my brother to tutor me, but it's not working. I think I am truly a lost cause.

I feel bitchy today. I think it's probably because I stayed up too late doing Latin last night. I wasn't able to practise my beloved oboe. I fail at violin so much. It's depressing. Anyway.

Wow. Is that Autumn I see? Where is her makeup? Oh god. Is that a pimple???

I don't know if i should laugh or cry. There is a pimple on Autumn Nguyen's forehead.

Well, what can I say. At this rate, we'll soon become best friends and Anna will start going out with one of those Sean Exeter guys she seems so obsessed with. Oh yay. Maybe i'll be able to witness Anna and Anna's boyfriend, dressed in exactly the same way!

Come to think of it, i've never asked Anna where she gets her clothes...

i'm pretty sure she frequents men's stores, though.

That's okay! Men's clothing looks good on Anna. Yeah. I wonder if I'll be able to tell her and her boyfriend apart!

Okay, I think that brief conversation with Autumn has stimulated my bitchiness area, formerly asleep. But what to do? I KIND OF LIKE IT.

I definitely need to sleep more. And I need to find out when our next maths test is, so I can study for it. Not that I'll end up studying for it, but whatever.

If Autumn gets a higher mark than me, I will scream.

I actually think she got a higher mark than me last time. Not that I know. everyone is super secretive about their marks for some reason. I have a feeling it's because they can't deal with my large and beautiful glasses. I wonder what Anna said about them. Such a...normal girl.

I NEED TO STUDY.

oh god. Latin assignment.

well, let's see...Anna...wait..it's Audrey (oops. can't tell the difference between them anymore.) somehow stalked me and found my number. She called my house. I swear she stalked me.

stalker: "Hello...is this um...Autumn?"

Well duh.Omg. i think i recognise this voice.It can't be! No, she wouldn't have the nerves "Hey...who is this?"

stalker: "um. it's Audrey. I'm just wondering about the emperor assignment..." (I pretty sure it was Audrey. that rusty-bicycle voice)

OMG. it's due tomorrow. damnit. "Oh...okay. Um. Have you..er..done it?"

stalker: "Well...not really.I'm considering doing the research now, but i'm not sure how we should be splitting this up."

oh god. Why? Why do you have to put me through this? "Um. Well...I know a bit about Augustus, so i think i can send the info to you. are you able to write it up? sorry i have a date tonight...and i don't think i'd have time to do it properly."

and thus i revealed my true nerdy nature. All i have to do now is wait for the rumour to spread..like a contagious disease around the school...slowly...painfully crippling me into...*mental blank* damnit. hold the suspense.

Well i think i gave her a heart-attack then because there was a short strangled sound on the other end of the line...then silence. Maybe i was wrong. Maybe Audrey would take the secret about my nerdiness with her to her tomb. wishful thinking.

Stalker: "Um. okay. do you have my email address?"

she's alive. "um. no. um " i don't stalk people. "Um. and how did you get my number?"

stalker: "it was in the class contact list."

"oh..." Damn. why didn't i think of that? Oops. I withdraw my accusation...XD

I can't remember how i managed to scare her away, but i did. So, I racked my brain for all i know about Augustus and sent them to her. I'm pretty sure most of the facts are wrong. BUT ANYTHING GOES WHEN YOU"RE DESPERATE. All you need is confidence, then people always believe you. I actually won a debate once on pure improvisation...but then again it's probably just my amazing beauty that stunned the adjudicator.

So. Human Relations with Sean Exeter. eww...wait, I think Henry goes there. I saw him again last week. His school finished early so I asked him to come to see me. i can't believe he actually rode his bike for one and a half hour...in the rain. poor guy. I meet him at the gate and we walked to the stations to go to his apartment in the city.


i think the rain somehow melted my wall...of superiority and selfishness. So no, I was not flirting with Henry ...because he's a friend. Okay, okay, i can feel myself going into the reflective mood. So i shall move on before i say anything regrettable.

OMG. do i like Henry? that never crossed my mind before. I already have a boyfriend, yes. BUT. *sigh* even if i do like him...i don't think i want to date him.

woah. i think it's way past my bed time. no wonder i'm being so rambly and weird. wait, i don't think rambly is even a word. oh god. i'm losing my braincells.

I hope Audrey is actually doing that assignment. I gave her all the information and allowed her to glimpse my nerdiness. She should be grateful.

Anna and the Ode

I really can’t get over how cheesy this whole situation is. It’s like this Latin project has been taken straight from one of those corny teenage flicks: three protagonists drawn together by one mutual quest – to get an A+ — and suddenly everyone becomes friends.

Oh puh-lease. Spare me. I don’t think we’re even near to getting an A+ on this, let alone even near the B section. It’s not like I know anything about Emperor Augustus. Wasn’t he some emperor or something?

It seems like Audrey knows something about this assignment. I’m in the opinion that she should undertake this task strictly on a solo basis. Take our last Latin lesson as an example:

“Um. So. Guys. I think we should research about this Augustus person.” (Audrey says with a stroke of absolute brilliance.)

“You think?” (Autumn has such a sarcastic tone that it really makes my tongue curl. I wonder whether I should attempt to copy her speaking style?)

“Right well. I’ll go down to the library shall I? Um. I’ll start looking him up.” (Audrey blinks a lot while she talks. Why I’ve never noticed this until now eludes me. Oh that’s right, I haven’t ever talked to her. Ha ha ha. Oh Anna, you’re so funny.)

“Yeah that’s a good idea. Try looking up on Wikipedia or something.” (Anna, you’re just amazing you. If you hadn’t contributed that piece of information, that Audrey would have probably floundered around on Google. That is if she knows what Google is…)

(Long Pause)

“Umm… I’m not sure whether Wikipedia is regarded as a legitimate resource…” (Audrey says this in a hesitant voice. So she should! How dare she!!! Oh the nerve…)

“Excuse me but when was Wikipedia not thought of as a ‘legitimate resource’?” (Oh Anna, encore at the cool but peeved off tone. Encore!)

“Like, I’ll be going now since you won’t be needing me.” (Did Autumn just walk out of the door in full-view of everyone?! Did she?! My gosh, I admire her.)

(Long Pause)

“Um. Come to think of it, I think I made some printouts of Augustus already…”

So that’s what it was. Well go her. As far as I’m concerned, Audrey can handle the assignment all on her own, with or without the help of Wikipedia. There are more useful things to think about, such as the upcoming Human Relations with Sean Exeter.

Perhaps I’ll see Tram Boy there.

And Ode to Tram Boy

Dearest, most loveliest Tram Boy,
So long have I gazed at you,
Knowing that every moment increases my joy,
But only if you really knew,
How much I long for you.

Tall, dashing young man, I know that you are the only one for me. Just seeing you once a day is enough for me and even then, it’s enough to wash away all the troubles with those pesky classmates of mine. Surely one day, I will talk to you and even ask your name. Maybe one day, you’ll smile for me. Maybe…

Get a hold of yourself Anna.

Audrey #4

The Emperor assignment is due tomorrow.

And, yes. As predicted, the Amazing A-group has, as yet, failed to do anything at all involving our chosen emperor, Augustus. (I know. Apparently there is an emperor whose name begins with the same letter as my own.) Due to my lack of interest in Augustus, I don't have any prior knowledge that would enable me to do the assignment without research.

In fact we had our first discussion about it today. It went...badly.

I have blocked it from my mind. Yes.

So, basically, we have done nothing.

Which is why, right now, I should be either researching, writing the report, or talking to Autumn or Anna. Ugh. Just the thought of doing any of those makes me feel annoyance, fear and vague anger.

Instead, I am thinking about the amazing concert I attended last night with my family, and freaking out about the reallyhairy spider on the wall.

Part of me is stressed about this latin assignment, but currently that part is being overwhelmed by my rapture over Rimsky-Korsakov's Scheherezade and also my extreme fear that the spider on the wall will suddenly start to move around or perhaps

FALL ON MY HEAD.

It is probably unhealthy to do this, but I find myself imagining how it would feel to have the spider tangling in my hair as I slowly reach backwards and scratch my head and feel the hairiness of its eight black legs then bring back my hand and see it resting on my palm and running down my arm...

OKAY. Let's not speak of this anymore, I feel the hysteria welling up inside my SOUL.

So anyway.

The stupid latin assignment. I don't even know what to do now. Like, it's due tomorrow, and we have done absolutely nothing. I mean, I've barely spoken to Autumn or Anna about it. Not that either of them have tried to do anything. I bet they don't care if they get bad marks. I mean, just one look at Autumn's heavily made-up face as she dismissively talks about the number of guys she's rejected and you can tell that she doesn't care one bit about her ENTER score. I wonder what her parents have been doing, honestly.

and Anna...well, she's not much better. I noticed her and one of her hopelessly normal friends talking about the upcoming Kilmore and Sean Exeter Human Relations program. Why is everyone at our school so guy-obsessed? And like...seriously, who would want to even meet guys from

WAIT A MINUTE DOES HE GO TO SEAN EXETER????

Dammit. Audrey, search your troubled, maths-incompetent mind.

Does he?

Does he???

Where else could he go? I have a feeling he may have transferred there this year..

Sudden change of feeling on my part. Ohmygod, going to see him. I have to look really amazing. I have to make sure he doesn't talk to Autumn. I have to make sure nobody else talks to him so that he can't find out how retarded I really am. I have to -

Write my stupid Latin assignment, dammit. What am I going to do?

DO NOT THINK ABOUT GUY RIGHT NOW

Yes. Yes. I think that you should give yourself some courage, Audrey, and pick up the phone and dial Anna's number from the class list you were given at the start of this year.

Or maybe Autumn.

...no. no. Anna. Autumn??

Generally I would choose Anna, but after the singing incident...

She stares at me weirdly when I talk, too. Her eyebrows twitch in a creepy way. Even without talking to her face-to-face, i don't think I can handle it.

So..

"Hello, this is Audrey. May I please speak to Autumn?"

"Um, I'm from Autumn's class. In her school. Kilmore."

"Okay. Thanks."

...

(GO LINH GO WRITE IT WRITE IT i can't ><)

Autumn again

WARNING: (most) teachers are smarter than they look. My adventure with my beloved Henry ends with me sitting in detention. So let's see who's here: Anna (why, hello!), Audrey(What is she doing here!Hm...maybe she's in here voluntarily), Jemma (as usual - gosh, what is wrong with her?), Nameless-Girl (She looks so emo it's freaky. She should cut her fringe), and a few more dull, faceless souls. Of course, and there is Mrs J. J for Jelly; J for Jobs, J for James, J for...well. ahem. Let's leave it as just 'J' shall we?

She is typing away on her laptop: I bet she's on Facebook. OMG [note: G is for Gosh not "GOD"], are they cankles? I've never noticed that, despite spending five hours a week with her. But then again, maybe that's because I enjoy the view outside the window rather than staring dotingly at her.

I'm going to kill myself now.The silence is sucking me in!

My greeting (in the form of a discreet wave) has just met with stone-cold faces. Fine. Bitch.

Well, maybe I should study for my Latin grammar test next period. But then again Mrs J. is here. She'd kill me if she sees me studying 'last minute'. hm. Anna seems to be doing it. She's hiding the vocab list behind Jane Austen's "Persuasion" though. Damn, I should have brought a book along.

OMG, Emperor assignment due in two days! OMG! Stupid Mrs J. She is now glaring suspiciously around the room. She should go to the gym. geez. What is the point of memorising how many walls some dead guy built two thousand years ago? How does that help with our Latin, Mrs J.? Perhaps she has nothing better to do, and she wants to see us suffer so that she can laugh about it on Facebook. I'll swear I'll find her profile tonight.

I wonder if Anna or Audrey has done it. hmmm...no,they look too guilty to have done it. Damn. Shocking as it may seem but they are my partner for the project. Mrs J. decided to mix up the class so that we can work with different people and 'expand our friendship circles'. As if - with Anna and Audrey? Don't make me laugh.

I really think that Audrey girl is stalking me. Arr. She always gaze at me with her gazing at me with her glassy eyes. Calm down Autumn. Calm down. You're being paranoid.

Smile, "Hi Audrey".

I love you too.

OMG! I'm going to die.

portem
portes
portet
portemus
portetis
portent

This is bad, i don't even know what I'm supposed to do for the assignment! Okay, serious dilemma here: should I call/msn Anna/Audrey tonight to talk to them about it? I can not risk being seen with them you see. That would be bad.

TO be or not to be, that is the question. And the other unanswerable question of all time is: "What is Audrey/Anna's number?"

Oh, there are so many questions in life!

Audrey #3

Revised edition of Audrey #3.

Inspired by Linh's post! yay. <3

--

It's nearly the end of the year and somehow, life is dreary. Nobody seems to have any desire to do anything at all, least of all myself. The exam rush is not yet here, and assignments are being handed out freely by careless teachers uncaring of the stresses of students who are failing maths.

Our class is celebrating Christmas ridiculously early, what with a Kris Kringle being started among the slightly more popular members of the class. Needless to say, I was not included in this. Not that it bothers me, of course. I mean, who would want to celebrate Christmas by passing notes anonymously to a person who you might barely know or might even dislike, and then in the end having to give them a gift?? That would be bad enough at Christmas, but in October, at the beginning of Term 4???

No. No, I cannot understand it at all.

In fact, one wonders who began this boring and pointless activity. Now that I think about it, the answer is plain: Autumn and her poisonous friends the Peroxides.

There is no wonder that I was not made a part of this. The wonder lies in the fact that several more regular non-Peroxides were included. I seem to remember that Anna (the music school girl who was exposed to my singing) and some of her friends are part of it, too. How interesting...generally the Peroxides are very exclusive. Perhaps they ran out of gift ideas for each other. I can imagine that mascara year after year must be tiring.

In any case, it strikes me as rather odd that this story is beginning at the end of the year. Generally, at this time a story would be ending, not beginning.

...I have a strong feeling that something bad is going to happen soon. Something interesting and bad. My life sucks anyway. Obviously, a story would begin at the most extreme and interesting part of my life; that is, the worst part.

I should be used to the awfulness of my life by now. No friends for 16 years (with a few exceptions). Forced to observe overly attractive girls like Autumn while looking like...this. Constantly embarrassed. Labelled as a nerd, while failing maths.

Could my life get any worse?

Yes, it seems.

Now that I have become aware of the approaching Unfortunate And Terrible Incident, it is very likely that it will occur extremely soon. But how soon, I wonder? how long must I wait, in happy suspense, until it comes crashing down on me?

Hmm. Latin is one of my favourite subjects. I like our teacher, Mrs J. We're doing translation, which I enjoy, and which doesn't involve talking to anyone (a risky activity for a reject like me). What could possibly go wrong.

Aha! An assignment!

...wait. It's on Emperors? Um. Doesn't sound very appealing. I've never been very good at nor very interested in history. Roman history isn't much better.

OH NO. A GROUP ASSIGNMENT? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY????????
DOESN'T SHE KNOW THAT I CAN'T TALK TO PEOPLE WITHOUT DYING A LITTLE INSIDE???

Maybe I'll be lucky and get people who i am vaguely friendly with. Maybe.

HA! WELL THEN.

Yes it is a cute thing to group people by the letter of their first names! Then they can be called the "A" group and try to do an emperor beginning with A! Sadly there probably aren't any emperors starting with A, Mrs J.

THAT WAS SUCH AN INCREDIBLY STUPID IDEA.

The only other two people in my Latin class whose names start with A are Anna, who I cannot talk to because of the terrible embarrassing incident in the music school, and Autumn, who i cannot talk to because...well, people like me don't talk to people like her.

What am I going to do? I have to get good marks in this! I can't let my marks slip!

No. No. Maybe I can work alone.

"Audrey, I understand that you prefer to work alone, but it might be good for you to get to know your fellow students! It's almost the end of Year 10, and I've noticed that you seem to have problems making friends with others - "

...

Thanks, Mrs. J.

You didn't have to go that far.

Let me just die now, while the rest of the class stares at me. I hear a few giggles. What can I say? It's the truth.

I just wish she hadn't said that so loudly.

Well. It's the end for me now. I can see it. Embarrassed, alone, friendless...stuck with an assignment i dislike...even worse, it's due in a week's time. While that may seem to be plenty of time, I know that I won't be able to bring myself to do it, given that I cannot cooperate with the people doing it with me and will just put it off more and more until I have to do it all on the last night.

No, I'm not looking forward to the next week at all.

And exams are soon. Oh my god. What am I going to do???

HOW DID MY LIFE SUDDENLY BECOME SO BAD???

IT SUCKS. IT SUCKS.

sigh.

Kilmore Society and Him

May I propose that we retain our old surnames? It makes things so much easier... anyway. If that's not good, then.. we'll just think of something shall we?


Taking the tram to and from school is one of life's mundane tasks. Nothing could be more dreary (or more horrifying) than being squashed into a hirsute, rotund and profusely-sweating man, whose armpits are in desperate need of deodorant, day after day. Believe me, I would say something comforting like... the smell of pungent BO leaves one's nostrils after a while but it doesn't, not ever. But really, the pain of travelling of home is alleviated by Him .

He (I have not yet discovered his glorious name), goes to St Evans and is the object of my (as of yet) one-sided affections. Soon I will be able to say that He and I have held such a passionate relationship for four years. Yet, 20 MINUTES PER DAY IN HIS AWESOME PRESENCE IS NOT ENOUGH.

Bah, why did Kilmore [um yeah.. go Linh...] have to be located in such a dodgy place? Why could it not have been situated in the inner-city like all the other prissy private schools? WHY?! And now, because of that, I am reduced to a mere 10 MINUTES with him His per trip!!! Argh, the pain.

Calm, Anna, calm. One has to be grateful for everything that she has. Twenty minutes a day of Him is surely enough. Anymore and you might be overcome by His chiselled visage, His sweet smell...

No! I must concentrate on Latin! (Why does it seem like my wandering from the subject at hand is becoming a common occurrence? How strange...)

portabam
portabas
portabat
portabamus
portabatis
portabant

I see that we're all sitting in hierarchical order. Here, I sit in the second row of our class. Next to me is Jen, one of my friends who is currently staring into mid-space with her pen halfway between her paper and mouth. Then, on my other side is Steph, a nice enough girl who is every bit as much a normal person as I, or Jen, am. Our row is made up of the average mass of Kilmore Ladies' College [um, I kinda forgot what you said Linh about the school...]. All of us are neither outstandingly popular, nor are we the dregs of Kilmore society. We are the Norms.

In the third row are those that make up the highest echelon of our year level. Among them are the Peroxides who dress with their top button of their dress undone, foundation liberally applied and ponytails all to the side. In fact, I see that Autumn is there and actually working. Well, if the sun does rise from the west, it's amazing. I see that she still hasn't re-dyed her hair. Shame.

Finally, in the front row are the Rejects. Simply put, if you aren't exceedingly popular or just normal, then you're a Reject. Harsh, isn't it? It's said that a newcomer to Kilmore has until the end of recess to not be relegated into the lowest of the lows. Any dirty tactics can be used to gain entry into one of the other sets, but woe to those who find themselves stuck with the title of Reject. To rise from the status of Reject is something that has not yet been done in all the history of Kilmore and if done, will surely be a legend.

Gosh, it's a dog-eat-dog world, isn't it?

[I have a feeling I might have made A LOT of typos and errors, so like... feel free to edit. xD]
[edited by Audrey.]

Sides of a Leaf

OH MY GOSH (Despite what people may think, I do respect authority. See? I didn't use the Lord's name in vain. From now on I shall be referring to the Lord as "One-Who-Can-Not-Be-Named" or "OWCNBN" for short)

getting back to topic...

I am now officially a rebel. I have just strolled out of the school gate during the fifth period, passed a few occupied teachers. Why? To meet up with Henry. No, I do not like him - I'm not into nerdy Asians. My friends convinced me I should wag Commerce and stop being such s freak. Apparently I'm the only one in the group who hasn't skipped a class this term.

Usually when we wag,we wander around the music school, pretending we're waiting for our lessons, or we just walk around aimlessly, looking as if we're heading somewhere. I am the first brave soul (within our group) to actually leave the school ground in full view of teachers. Sarah gawped when she learned of my plan. I feel sorry for that girl sometimes; her brain-cell development is tardy.

She reminds me of Audrey; abnormally wide eyes, and the dazed expression. Sometimes I wonder if Audrey is socially...challenged. The last time I attempted to be friendly (which was in year 7), I greeted her as she made her way to her locker, hugging a pile of books (which I believe were dictionaries). Her eyes widened to approximately twice their size, all her limbs froze, and her precious books crashed onto the floor.
I am not exaggerating here. This is how sad this school is getting.

I don't even think she has any friends. Perhaps she's friend with that Anna(I've found out that she is actually Anna, not Annie. Anna [KATHERINE, WHAT'S YOUR LAST NAME?]) Wherever there's one of them, you'd sure to find the other lurking around somewhere.

Take this lunch-break for example:

I walked pass Audrey, singing her heart out on the old couch in the music school. She was rather out-of-tune and squeaky - like the music one gets when pedalling a rusty old bicycle. She'd be perfect to sing the Speech Night songs. They suit her style: piercing and gay [IS THIS TOO MEAN?]She didn't realise I was there though, so I just hurried out. I was too shocked to confront her. Anyways, I needed to check my make-up before I meet up with Henry. I like the sound of that name: Henry, Hen-ry, Henrie (in French accent).

As I was just fixing my foundation (it was rubbing off. The quality of Channel foundation is terrible. I'm only using it because it's in fashion now), I glimpsed Anna staring at me as she attempted to edge around the group to go into the music school. Probably going to support Audrey in her ambition - whatever it may be. Why would anyone randomly sing (badly) in public?

They must be friends. I wonder how Anna stands Audrey's singing.

Pray OWCNBN, dad doesn't find out about me wagging. While he doesn't mind me joining the Peroxide Group (as those retarded Asians labeled us), he expected me to focus on my studies. He would seriously kill me if he finds out I'm going out with a guy. Even knowing a guy would result in me being moved to another school, and this time forced to hang out with "studious friends".

I am leading a double life. This is not healthy is it?

Anna the Average #2

Wow. Audrey sounds really nasally and screechy when she sings. I'll die if she's auditioning for a solo part at Speech Night. Like, literally, I will die.

BUT WAIT. One might have the impression that I had purposefully gone our of my way to hear Know-It-All Audrey sing. THAT IS NOT THE CASE.

But like, yeah. I'll start from the beginning.

The Peroxides [I mean, don't you think that this is such a befitting name? LOL] were blocking up the corridor with their ridiculous and mindless conversations that usually run like this:

"Like, Jen, don't you just love my new mascara? It's like Channel. Don't I look hot?"

"Oh my gosh, you so do Phillipa. I think maybe I'll get Channel next time too. Then that'll complete my whole Channel set! This is like, so exciting! (high-pitched squeal) I can't stand anything other than Channel. I mean, everything else is just so out, you know?"

"That is like, so true. But Dolce and Gabana is so cool too."

"Um, can you not butt into our conversations Sarah? Jen and I are like, kinda talking at the moment."

I noticed Autumn was sitting with a compact open while checking some invisible spot on her cheek. You're obviously blind Autumn, the pimple volcano is on your forehead. Hasn't anyone ever told you that foundation is not good for the skin during puberty?

Pfft.. probably not. I wonder what will happen if I slip that piece of advice in her Kris Kringle note? I hope she liked my touch with the book.

But shame Anna! You're wandering from the main point.

Long story short: Because the Peroxides were taking their blessed time clearing the corridor, I had forgotten that I had a music lesson, then remembered and rushed over to the music school. Realizing that I was probably early, I sat there, craving for one of the fatty potato cakes that were selling fast in the canteen (transfatty foods are the bane of my existence). It was then that I heard the most horrible noise.

Shock. Horror.

It was Audrey singing a rendition of You Raise Me Up. Badly. Very Badly.

Rumors are that Audrey, the Teacher's Pet, has perfect pitch and is apparently, highly musical. So not true. SHE SINGS OUT OF TUNE. LIKE REALLY OUT OF TUNE.

I think I must have made a gasping sound because Audrey suddenly stopped and looked in my direction. Her eyes looked unnaturally big at that moment.

I quickly exited the room, seeking a way to not hear her sing again. On my way out, I noticed that a yellow post-it was on Audrey's glasses and I made a comment of it. I wonder if she heard me? She looked quite devastated.

Poor girl, I almost feel sorry for her. She must be so embarrassed. I think I'll pretend I was temporarly deaf that day.

Then again, maybe I should be the one to tell her to not sing in public, let alone for an audition.

Oh good God. What a dillemma.

Audrey #2

It's actually Anna's turn but I just felt like writing, so, yeah. WHEN YOU SEE THIS YOU MUST WRITE YOUR POST !!

-the lovely audrey enters-

--

Sometimes I find myself wondering why I even bother to go out in public. I mean, let's think about this.

1. I have no friends.
2. I have no real need to go to school as I can study at home.
3. There's actually no point in studying as despite the fact that I am a nerd i am failing maths.
4. Okay, so my self esteem is so low it's not funny. Going out in public just makes it get lower.
5. It's really hot right now and there's no aircon outside.
6. Everytime I go out, people stare at me strangely. Perhaps it is my round glasses, which I purchased several years ago during the dark time in my life when I was needlessly obsessed with Harry Potter.
7. I also cannot sing in public. What's the point of singing if you have nobody to sing to? Or anything to sing about?
8. Actually, i have many things to sing about. Such as the fact that I will never accomplish anything.
9. Someone who will never accomplish anything is just troublesome to the rest of society. God, I mean, if you were a normal person, would you like to talk to someone like me? It’s really no wonder I have no friends. I have nothing to offer in a friendship. Really, there is just no point in living. I wonder what would happen if I -

Sigh.

Suicidal tendencies die hard.

NO, WAIT. I HAVE A REASON FOR LIVING.

I've decided on my new goal! I think that I will write a song expressing the awfulness of my life. How amazing. What an appropriate place to think of a goal such as this! Yes, right now I'm sitting in the music school again. Oh, look - my oboe teacher just waved at me. How nice of her! I feel really touched, actually. A simple wave means a lot when you have no friends.

Wow, I feel a lot better already! I wonder if I could be bipolar -

Oh my god. Who is that. Is that who i think it is??

Is that Autumn?? WHAT THE HELL IS SHE DOING HERE??

Let me explain exactly why someone like Autumn [lastname] should never be in the music school. Well, the music school is a place only for musical nerds like me and those overly responsible students who seem to be everywhere, like Anna. Very few blonde people ever set foot inside the music school, lest they be contaminated with Nerdymusic Stigma. Except for the few blonde musicians out there, that is.

Autumn is not only blonde but she is, in fact, an Asian who has dyed her hair blonde. In fact, I can see her black regrowths right now. They're the same colour as her eyeliner. God, how much makeup does she wear??

Note: I do not own any makeup and I would never ever dye my hair blonde for fear of being socially ostracised from the rest of the known world.

Anyway, Autumn is for some reason mysteriously popular with our teachers, despite the fact that she's one of the group [what's the name of this group? The Blondes? like. no. please.]. In fact, I would find it extremely annoying if I didn't harbour a secret and embarrassing admiration for the girl.

I think it's quite understandable though that a nerd like me would admire someone like Autumn. Teachers love her; she has so many friends it's not funny, and even though she's occasionally bitchy it's quite mild compared to some of the other members of [that group]. Not to mention that with her blonde hair, black eyes and confident manner, she is really overly attractive.

No wonder so many guys like her.

She's walking by right now, with her head raised confidently, a perfect constant smile plastered on her perfect face. Just looking at her makes me feel like a complete failure at life.

...in complete disregard of Music School convention, she's talking to someone on her mobile phone. The newest, most expensive model, obviously. It's rumored that her family is extremely rich and lives in a mansion. Then again, it's also rumored that she's had implants.

Actually, there might be some substance to that theory after all, now that I listen to her conversation. "...guys kept looking down my shirt...gosh, who do they think they are? As if i would ever go out with someone like that...don't they know...fake..."

Her voice is of a medium pitch and has a slight Asian accent.

Sigh.

Ah, she's gone now. I don't think she saw me, luckily. People like Autumn should not be forced to witness the utter nerdiness of my person. Who knows? Drawn in like the millions of guys she attracts, I might wave. My glasses might fall off. Who knows what might happen.

I pity those poor boys who set eyes on Autumn; she's never gone out with a single one. Their love is always unrequited. And I know that she flirts with them. God, I hope that she never meets...

Oh dear. Must not think of him.

Oh, god. It's so painful.

I really didn't need to bring that up.

Ahh, anyway, that brings me to the last reason I should never go out in public.

10. I know that I will only ever love one guy and that he doesn't even like me so there's no point in going out as I am in utter despair and will only depress others with the grey upsetting cloud hanging over me.

Autumn

“My Life as a Fake” – Gosh what a bitch.

I seriously can not believe my Kris Kringle put the clue inside that book. What is wrong with her? What is wrong with all those Asians in my class? They are so racist and can't seem to accept the fact that everyone is different. Just because I'm Asian, it does not mean that I have to act like a stereotypical nerd - I mean look at Audrey. She's the perfect Asian stereotype. Okay, maybe it's not so much racism, but they seem to expect that if you're Asian, you have to act like a freak. Get a life.

I give up on these people.

My hair needs redying. Maybe I'll do it red this time, or brown - i am, after all, Autumn! Actually, I think red (just to spite those Asians).

Anyways, the science teacher asked me to go to this science extension thing yesterday. This, of course surprised my friends: "Autumn, she, like, loves you. Look at Audrey, she's jealous."

So I arrived at Soverynerdy Grammar about half an hour early because for some reason, my teacher thought it starts at 9:00am instead of 9:30. And thus I wasted half an hour of my life counting how many windows the school library has. The whole wall is practically made of glass, so my endeavour was quite challenging as I debated whether a section should be counted as one window when it is not entirely divided from the adjacent one by a metal beam. I decided to count these as half a window.My iPod didn't offer me much entertainment you see. The guys there, of course, were all gawking at me because, well, I bet they have never seen a girl in their life. But considering that I actually put more effort into my make-up this morning...

Some of them are quite hot.

Well, the program finally started - there were some MLC and Strathcona girls there as well, but they were in year 8 and 9. Great.

During the breaks, I went to the cafeteria to buy my lunch and all the guys were shamelessly flirting with me. I must say, the food there was a rip-off. It tasted like plastic - uncooked plastic. A group of Asian guys came and sat at my table and tried to start a conversation. They seemed desperate. One of the guys asked for my number and the whole group just laughed their heads off. They were desperate - but I thought I'd give them a chance.

I let one of them walk me back to the science lab.

----
I must really redye my hair. What's-her-face was staring at me during maths. Her name is Annie, or something...maybe Anna. My maths class consists only of Asians, and they all think that the school made a mistake and placed me in the Acceleration Maths class. How discriminating! What happened to not judging people from their outer appearance? Sometimes I feel like shoving my results under their nose. However, I obviously can not do that, otherwise words would spread around the school: "you know that blonde chick? Her average mark is 100%". I would then become a total reject.

Autumn - that's me. People only sees its brilliant colours and the gliding leaves. They never notice the bare branches behind the array of beauty.

Audrey #1

My life is one of shame. Of never-ending embarrassment. Oh, the pain.

The truth is, I simply cannot deal with the embarrassment.

I JUST WANT TO DIE RIGHT NOW.

Oh, my god.

...

Well. It's like this.

For some unknown reason, I have a secret passion for singing. Right. Yes. So, I thought that maybe...maybe this year I would audition for one of the soloists in the end-of-year performance.

WHYEVER DID I THINK THAT? Now that I look back on it, i SIMPLY DO NOT KNOW.

Anyway.

I was sitting in the music school, practising. Generally I do not do this. I limit my singing to home, where my tolerant family has built me a soundproof room where i can practise violin and oboe. However, today I was overcome by my lack of friends and retreated to the building i regard as my second home. There I sat for a while, feeling depressed about my life. As I inevitably do when I believe myself to be alone, I began to sing.

I felt rather bored so to divert myself I sang in a high-pitched and ridiculous way.

I continued on for a while until suddenly I heard a noise. Yes; it would appear that my overly high pitched and loud singing had caused me to be oblivious to the presence of ANOTHER STUDENT IN THE ROOM.

What was more, it was a GIRL IN MY CLASS. What was her name again? Ah, Anna. She's always been nice to me. well, nice enough.

She looked truly frightened for a second, then tried to make out that there was nothing wrong. She muttered something about my glasses, then left.

IT WAS A TERRIBLE AND AWFUL MOMENT. That moment when I realised that ANNA WAS IN THE ROOM.

How could i have allowed myself to be caught engaging in such a RIDICULOUS AND EMBARRASSING ACTIVITY?

Sometimes i wonder at my stupidity. In any case. Oh my god, where is Anna? I must find her and kill her. Brainwash her.

Actually I think i will just kill myself now.

WHAT AM I GOING TO DO IF I SEE ANNA AGAIN?

OH, MY GOD.

OH, MY GOD.

...

Why does my life suck so much.

God. Okay. I should definitely go and study now. I have to keep up my reputation, you know. I have an awful feeling that my marks are slipping. Especially maths. Damn probability.

...

IT'S TOO EMBARRASSING

okay, breathe, Audrey. JUST GET OVER IT

IT'S NOT LIKE SHE EVER LIKED YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE.

and whoo... my post.

Like, I didn't know that the draft you posted was the one you were talking about. soo... i kinda only checked it today. *cough*

Um, shall I write something really random and fully immerse myself into ANNA?! SHALL I?! WELL.

Start:

"Only mediocrity can always be trusted to be at its best."

And that is the quote that would so sum up the life of Anna. Anna, the epitome of mediocrity, who can always be named by the rest of the student body but with nothing else to distinguish her.

"Anna? That one? Yeah, she's really nice. I think she helped me with my math homework once..."

or:

"Yeah, Anna and I were in the same class in year seven, or maybe year eight. Mmmm..."

Yes, it is I, the Average Anna. My father, wise as he is, told me that I should be passionate with all I do and so rise out of the sea unexceptional, faceless crowds. Even the teachers who have taught me in bygone years have written in their yearly report: "Anna has a far-reaching potential and I have high hopes that she will achieve many momentous things."

Get real.

One of the motivational speakers who came to talk to us on one of those Who Cares About Assembly And Especially Motivational Speakers days, told the entire senior school that it's unhealthy for young girls to think depressing thoughts, more so in the morning. So, fine. I'll wait until after recess and then I'll immerse myself fully into the Mediocrity Of Anna's Life. It's maths that will consume my thinking.

...

Mrs Leong, you're too short.

...

Audrey looks like such a nerd. I mean seriously, can't she get contacts or something? She always wears those round glasses that obviously don't suit her face. GET NEW GLASSES OR JUST GET CONTACTS.

...

No really, I'm thinking about maths. I totally dig the whole probability thing.

...

It looks like Autumn needs to redo her dyeing. Her black roots are coming out. Although I admit that it isn't that noticeable but...

...

Autumn, really, redo your dyeing. Blonde with black roots is NOT attractive.

...

Audrey, GET A LIFE. WHO CARES WHETHER YOU KNOW HOW TO DO PROBABILITY COMBINATIONS. I DON'T.

...

Okay, so I do, but what the heck.

...

Mrs Leong, stop wearing lifts.

...

God, save me from maths.

Plan

Characters:

Audrey
Autumn
Anna

Conflicts:

Henry [Audrey, Autumn]
Autumn's scores [Peroxides]

Setting:
?school

Word Count (goal):
50 000 words.