WARNING: (most) teachers are smarter than they look. My adventure with my beloved Henry ends with me sitting in detention. So let's see who's here: Anna (why, hello!), Audrey(What is she doing here!Hm...maybe she's in here voluntarily), Jemma (as usual - gosh, what is wrong with her?), Nameless-Girl (She looks so emo it's freaky. She should cut her fringe), and a few more dull, faceless souls. Of course, and there is Mrs J. J for Jelly; J for Jobs, J for James, J for...well. ahem. Let's leave it as just 'J' shall we?
She is typing away on her laptop: I bet she's on Facebook. OMG [note: G is for Gosh not "GOD"], are they cankles? I've never noticed that, despite spending five hours a week with her. But then again, maybe that's because I enjoy the view outside the window rather than staring dotingly at her.
I'm going to kill myself now.The silence is sucking me in!
My greeting (in the form of a discreet wave) has just met with stone-cold faces. Fine. Bitch.
Well, maybe I should study for my Latin grammar test next period. But then again Mrs J. is here. She'd kill me if she sees me studying 'last minute'. hm. Anna seems to be doing it. She's hiding the vocab list behind Jane Austen's "Persuasion" though. Damn, I should have brought a book along.
OMG, Emperor assignment due in two days! OMG! Stupid Mrs J. She is now glaring suspiciously around the room. She should go to the gym. geez. What is the point of memorising how many walls some dead guy built two thousand years ago? How does that help with our Latin, Mrs J.? Perhaps she has nothing better to do, and she wants to see us suffer so that she can laugh about it on Facebook. I'll swear I'll find her profile tonight.
I wonder if Anna or Audrey has done it. hmmm...no,they look too guilty to have done it. Damn. Shocking as it may seem but they are my partner for the project. Mrs J. decided to mix up the class so that we can work with different people and 'expand our friendship circles'. As if - with Anna and Audrey? Don't make me laugh.
I really think that Audrey girl is stalking me. Arr. She always gaze at me with her gazing at me with her glassy eyes. Calm down Autumn. Calm down. You're being paranoid.
Smile, "Hi Audrey".
I love you too.
OMG! I'm going to die.
portem
portes
portet
portemus
portetis
portent
This is bad, i don't even know what I'm supposed to do for the assignment! Okay, serious dilemma here: should I call/msn Anna/Audrey tonight to talk to them about it? I can not risk being seen with them you see. That would be bad.
TO be or not to be, that is the question. And the other unanswerable question of all time is: "What is Audrey/Anna's number?"
Oh, there are so many questions in life!
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Audrey #3
Revised edition of Audrey #3.
Inspired by Linh's post! yay. <3
--
It's nearly the end of the year and somehow, life is dreary. Nobody seems to have any desire to do anything at all, least of all myself. The exam rush is not yet here, and assignments are being handed out freely by careless teachers uncaring of the stresses of students who are failing maths.
Our class is celebrating Christmas ridiculously early, what with a Kris Kringle being started among the slightly more popular members of the class. Needless to say, I was not included in this. Not that it bothers me, of course. I mean, who would want to celebrate Christmas by passing notes anonymously to a person who you might barely know or might even dislike, and then in the end having to give them a gift?? That would be bad enough at Christmas, but in October, at the beginning of Term 4???
No. No, I cannot understand it at all.
In fact, one wonders who began this boring and pointless activity. Now that I think about it, the answer is plain: Autumn and her poisonous friends the Peroxides.
There is no wonder that I was not made a part of this. The wonder lies in the fact that several more regular non-Peroxides were included. I seem to remember that Anna (the music school girl who was exposed to my singing) and some of her friends are part of it, too. How interesting...generally the Peroxides are very exclusive. Perhaps they ran out of gift ideas for each other. I can imagine that mascara year after year must be tiring.
In any case, it strikes me as rather odd that this story is beginning at the end of the year. Generally, at this time a story would be ending, not beginning.
...I have a strong feeling that something bad is going to happen soon. Something interesting and bad. My life sucks anyway. Obviously, a story would begin at the most extreme and interesting part of my life; that is, the worst part.
I should be used to the awfulness of my life by now. No friends for 16 years (with a few exceptions). Forced to observe overly attractive girls like Autumn while looking like...this. Constantly embarrassed. Labelled as a nerd, while failing maths.
Could my life get any worse?
Yes, it seems.
Now that I have become aware of the approaching Unfortunate And Terrible Incident, it is very likely that it will occur extremely soon. But how soon, I wonder? how long must I wait, in happy suspense, until it comes crashing down on me?
Hmm. Latin is one of my favourite subjects. I like our teacher, Mrs J. We're doing translation, which I enjoy, and which doesn't involve talking to anyone (a risky activity for a reject like me). What could possibly go wrong.
Aha! An assignment!
...wait. It's on Emperors? Um. Doesn't sound very appealing. I've never been very good at nor very interested in history. Roman history isn't much better.
OH NO. A GROUP ASSIGNMENT? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY????????
DOESN'T SHE KNOW THAT I CAN'T TALK TO PEOPLE WITHOUT DYING A LITTLE INSIDE???
Maybe I'll be lucky and get people who i am vaguely friendly with. Maybe.
HA! WELL THEN.
Yes it is a cute thing to group people by the letter of their first names! Then they can be called the "A" group and try to do an emperor beginning with A! Sadly there probably aren't any emperors starting with A, Mrs J.
THAT WAS SUCH AN INCREDIBLY STUPID IDEA.
The only other two people in my Latin class whose names start with A are Anna, who I cannot talk to because of the terrible embarrassing incident in the music school, and Autumn, who i cannot talk to because...well, people like me don't talk to people like her.
What am I going to do? I have to get good marks in this! I can't let my marks slip!
No. No. Maybe I can work alone.
"Audrey, I understand that you prefer to work alone, but it might be good for you to get to know your fellow students! It's almost the end of Year 10, and I've noticed that you seem to have problems making friends with others - "
...
Thanks, Mrs. J.
You didn't have to go that far.
Let me just die now, while the rest of the class stares at me. I hear a few giggles. What can I say? It's the truth.
I just wish she hadn't said that so loudly.
Well. It's the end for me now. I can see it. Embarrassed, alone, friendless...stuck with an assignment i dislike...even worse, it's due in a week's time. While that may seem to be plenty of time, I know that I won't be able to bring myself to do it, given that I cannot cooperate with the people doing it with me and will just put it off more and more until I have to do it all on the last night.
No, I'm not looking forward to the next week at all.
And exams are soon. Oh my god. What am I going to do???
HOW DID MY LIFE SUDDENLY BECOME SO BAD???
IT SUCKS. IT SUCKS.
sigh.
Inspired by Linh's post! yay. <3
--
It's nearly the end of the year and somehow, life is dreary. Nobody seems to have any desire to do anything at all, least of all myself. The exam rush is not yet here, and assignments are being handed out freely by careless teachers uncaring of the stresses of students who are failing maths.
Our class is celebrating Christmas ridiculously early, what with a Kris Kringle being started among the slightly more popular members of the class. Needless to say, I was not included in this. Not that it bothers me, of course. I mean, who would want to celebrate Christmas by passing notes anonymously to a person who you might barely know or might even dislike, and then in the end having to give them a gift?? That would be bad enough at Christmas, but in October, at the beginning of Term 4???
No. No, I cannot understand it at all.
In fact, one wonders who began this boring and pointless activity. Now that I think about it, the answer is plain: Autumn and her poisonous friends the Peroxides.
There is no wonder that I was not made a part of this. The wonder lies in the fact that several more regular non-Peroxides were included. I seem to remember that Anna (the music school girl who was exposed to my singing) and some of her friends are part of it, too. How interesting...generally the Peroxides are very exclusive. Perhaps they ran out of gift ideas for each other. I can imagine that mascara year after year must be tiring.
In any case, it strikes me as rather odd that this story is beginning at the end of the year. Generally, at this time a story would be ending, not beginning.
...I have a strong feeling that something bad is going to happen soon. Something interesting and bad. My life sucks anyway. Obviously, a story would begin at the most extreme and interesting part of my life; that is, the worst part.
I should be used to the awfulness of my life by now. No friends for 16 years (with a few exceptions). Forced to observe overly attractive girls like Autumn while looking like...this. Constantly embarrassed. Labelled as a nerd, while failing maths.
Could my life get any worse?
Yes, it seems.
Now that I have become aware of the approaching Unfortunate And Terrible Incident, it is very likely that it will occur extremely soon. But how soon, I wonder? how long must I wait, in happy suspense, until it comes crashing down on me?
Hmm. Latin is one of my favourite subjects. I like our teacher, Mrs J. We're doing translation, which I enjoy, and which doesn't involve talking to anyone (a risky activity for a reject like me). What could possibly go wrong.
Aha! An assignment!
...wait. It's on Emperors? Um. Doesn't sound very appealing. I've never been very good at nor very interested in history. Roman history isn't much better.
OH NO. A GROUP ASSIGNMENT? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY????????
DOESN'T SHE KNOW THAT I CAN'T TALK TO PEOPLE WITHOUT DYING A LITTLE INSIDE???
Maybe I'll be lucky and get people who i am vaguely friendly with. Maybe.
HA! WELL THEN.
Yes it is a cute thing to group people by the letter of their first names! Then they can be called the "A" group and try to do an emperor beginning with A! Sadly there probably aren't any emperors starting with A, Mrs J.
THAT WAS SUCH AN INCREDIBLY STUPID IDEA.
The only other two people in my Latin class whose names start with A are Anna, who I cannot talk to because of the terrible embarrassing incident in the music school, and Autumn, who i cannot talk to because...well, people like me don't talk to people like her.
What am I going to do? I have to get good marks in this! I can't let my marks slip!
No. No. Maybe I can work alone.
"Audrey, I understand that you prefer to work alone, but it might be good for you to get to know your fellow students! It's almost the end of Year 10, and I've noticed that you seem to have problems making friends with others - "
...
Thanks, Mrs. J.
You didn't have to go that far.
Let me just die now, while the rest of the class stares at me. I hear a few giggles. What can I say? It's the truth.
I just wish she hadn't said that so loudly.
Well. It's the end for me now. I can see it. Embarrassed, alone, friendless...stuck with an assignment i dislike...even worse, it's due in a week's time. While that may seem to be plenty of time, I know that I won't be able to bring myself to do it, given that I cannot cooperate with the people doing it with me and will just put it off more and more until I have to do it all on the last night.
No, I'm not looking forward to the next week at all.
And exams are soon. Oh my god. What am I going to do???
HOW DID MY LIFE SUDDENLY BECOME SO BAD???
IT SUCKS. IT SUCKS.
sigh.
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Kilmore Society and Him
May I propose that we retain our old surnames? It makes things so much easier... anyway. If that's not good, then.. we'll just think of something shall we?
Taking the tram to and from school is one of life's mundane tasks. Nothing could be more dreary (or more horrifying) than being squashed into a hirsute, rotund and profusely-sweating man, whose armpits are in desperate need of deodorant, day after day. Believe me, I would say something comforting like... the smell of pungent BO leaves one's nostrils after a while but it doesn't, not ever. But really, the pain of travelling of home is alleviated by Him .
He (I have not yet discovered his glorious name), goes to St Evans and is the object of my (as of yet) one-sided affections. Soon I will be able to say that He and I have held such a passionate relationship for four years. Yet, 20 MINUTES PER DAY IN HIS AWESOME PRESENCE IS NOT ENOUGH.
Bah, why did Kilmore [um yeah.. go Linh...] have to be located in such a dodgy place? Why could it not have been situated in the inner-city like all the other prissy private schools? WHY?! And now, because of that, I am reduced to a mere 10 MINUTES with him His per trip!!! Argh, the pain.
Calm, Anna, calm. One has to be grateful for everything that she has. Twenty minutes a day of Him is surely enough. Anymore and you might be overcome by His chiselled visage, His sweet smell...
No! I must concentrate on Latin! (Why does it seem like my wandering from the subject at hand is becoming a common occurrence? How strange...)
portabam
portabas
portabat
portabamus
portabatis
portabant
I see that we're all sitting in hierarchical order. Here, I sit in the second row of our class. Next to me is Jen, one of my friends who is currently staring into mid-space with her pen halfway between her paper and mouth. Then, on my other side is Steph, a nice enough girl who is every bit as much a normal person as I, or Jen, am. Our row is made up of the average mass of Kilmore Ladies' College [um, I kinda forgot what you said Linh about the school...]. All of us are neither outstandingly popular, nor are we the dregs of Kilmore society. We are the Norms.
In the third row are those that make up the highest echelon of our year level. Among them are the Peroxides who dress with their top button of their dress undone, foundation liberally applied and ponytails all to the side. In fact, I see that Autumn is there and actually working. Well, if the sun does rise from the west, it's amazing. I see that she still hasn't re-dyed her hair. Shame.
Finally, in the front row are the Rejects. Simply put, if you aren't exceedingly popular or just normal, then you're a Reject. Harsh, isn't it? It's said that a newcomer to Kilmore has until the end of recess to not be relegated into the lowest of the lows. Any dirty tactics can be used to gain entry into one of the other sets, but woe to those who find themselves stuck with the title of Reject. To rise from the status of Reject is something that has not yet been done in all the history of Kilmore and if done, will surely be a legend.
Gosh, it's a dog-eat-dog world, isn't it?
[I have a feeling I might have made A LOT of typos and errors, so like... feel free to edit. xD]
[edited by Audrey.]
Taking the tram to and from school is one of life's mundane tasks. Nothing could be more dreary (or more horrifying) than being squashed into a hirsute, rotund and profusely-sweating man, whose armpits are in desperate need of deodorant, day after day. Believe me, I would say something comforting like... the smell of pungent BO leaves one's nostrils after a while but it doesn't, not ever. But really, the pain of travelling of home is alleviated by Him .
He (I have not yet discovered his glorious name), goes to St Evans and is the object of my (as of yet) one-sided affections. Soon I will be able to say that He and I have held such a passionate relationship for four years. Yet, 20 MINUTES PER DAY IN HIS AWESOME PRESENCE IS NOT ENOUGH.
Bah, why did Kilmore [um yeah.. go Linh...] have to be located in such a dodgy place? Why could it not have been situated in the inner-city like all the other prissy private schools? WHY?! And now, because of that, I am reduced to a mere 10 MINUTES with him His per trip!!! Argh, the pain.
Calm, Anna, calm. One has to be grateful for everything that she has. Twenty minutes a day of Him is surely enough. Anymore and you might be overcome by His chiselled visage, His sweet smell...
No! I must concentrate on Latin! (Why does it seem like my wandering from the subject at hand is becoming a common occurrence? How strange...)
portabam
portabas
portabat
portabamus
portabatis
portabant
I see that we're all sitting in hierarchical order. Here, I sit in the second row of our class. Next to me is Jen, one of my friends who is currently staring into mid-space with her pen halfway between her paper and mouth. Then, on my other side is Steph, a nice enough girl who is every bit as much a normal person as I, or Jen, am. Our row is made up of the average mass of Kilmore Ladies' College [um, I kinda forgot what you said Linh about the school...]. All of us are neither outstandingly popular, nor are we the dregs of Kilmore society. We are the Norms.
In the third row are those that make up the highest echelon of our year level. Among them are the Peroxides who dress with their top button of their dress undone, foundation liberally applied and ponytails all to the side. In fact, I see that Autumn is there and actually working. Well, if the sun does rise from the west, it's amazing. I see that she still hasn't re-dyed her hair. Shame.
Finally, in the front row are the Rejects. Simply put, if you aren't exceedingly popular or just normal, then you're a Reject. Harsh, isn't it? It's said that a newcomer to Kilmore has until the end of recess to not be relegated into the lowest of the lows. Any dirty tactics can be used to gain entry into one of the other sets, but woe to those who find themselves stuck with the title of Reject. To rise from the status of Reject is something that has not yet been done in all the history of Kilmore and if done, will surely be a legend.
Gosh, it's a dog-eat-dog world, isn't it?
[I have a feeling I might have made A LOT of typos and errors, so like... feel free to edit. xD]
[edited by Audrey.]
Friday, November 30, 2007
Sides of a Leaf
OH MY GOSH (Despite what people may think, I do respect authority. See? I didn't use the Lord's name in vain. From now on I shall be referring to the Lord as "One-Who-Can-Not-Be-Named" or "OWCNBN" for short)
getting back to topic...
I am now officially a rebel. I have just strolled out of the school gate during the fifth period, passed a few occupied teachers. Why? To meet up with Henry. No, I do not like him - I'm not into nerdy Asians. My friends convinced me I should wag Commerce and stop being such s freak. Apparently I'm the only one in the group who hasn't skipped a class this term.
Usually when we wag,we wander around the music school, pretending we're waiting for our lessons, or we just walk around aimlessly, looking as if we're heading somewhere. I am the first brave soul (within our group) to actually leave the school ground in full view of teachers. Sarah gawped when she learned of my plan. I feel sorry for that girl sometimes; her brain-cell development is tardy.
She reminds me of Audrey; abnormally wide eyes, and the dazed expression. Sometimes I wonder if Audrey is socially...challenged. The last time I attempted to be friendly (which was in year 7), I greeted her as she made her way to her locker, hugging a pile of books (which I believe were dictionaries). Her eyes widened to approximately twice their size, all her limbs froze, and her precious books crashed onto the floor.
I am not exaggerating here. This is how sad this school is getting.
I don't even think she has any friends. Perhaps she's friend with that Anna(I've found out that she is actually Anna, not Annie. Anna [KATHERINE, WHAT'S YOUR LAST NAME?]) Wherever there's one of them, you'd sure to find the other lurking around somewhere.
Take this lunch-break for example:
I walked pass Audrey, singing her heart out on the old couch in the music school. She was rather out-of-tune and squeaky - like the music one gets when pedalling a rusty old bicycle. She'd be perfect to sing the Speech Night songs. They suit her style: piercing and gay [IS THIS TOO MEAN?]She didn't realise I was there though, so I just hurried out. I was too shocked to confront her. Anyways, I needed to check my make-up before I meet up with Henry. I like the sound of that name: Henry, Hen-ry, Henrie (in French accent).
As I was just fixing my foundation (it was rubbing off. The quality of Channel foundation is terrible. I'm only using it because it's in fashion now), I glimpsed Anna staring at me as she attempted to edge around the group to go into the music school. Probably going to support Audrey in her ambition - whatever it may be. Why would anyone randomly sing (badly) in public?
They must be friends. I wonder how Anna stands Audrey's singing.
Pray OWCNBN, dad doesn't find out about me wagging. While he doesn't mind me joining the Peroxide Group (as those retarded Asians labeled us), he expected me to focus on my studies. He would seriously kill me if he finds out I'm going out with a guy. Even knowing a guy would result in me being moved to another school, and this time forced to hang out with "studious friends".
I am leading a double life. This is not healthy is it?
getting back to topic...
I am now officially a rebel. I have just strolled out of the school gate during the fifth period, passed a few occupied teachers. Why? To meet up with Henry. No, I do not like him - I'm not into nerdy Asians. My friends convinced me I should wag Commerce and stop being such s freak. Apparently I'm the only one in the group who hasn't skipped a class this term.
Usually when we wag,we wander around the music school, pretending we're waiting for our lessons, or we just walk around aimlessly, looking as if we're heading somewhere. I am the first brave soul (within our group) to actually leave the school ground in full view of teachers. Sarah gawped when she learned of my plan. I feel sorry for that girl sometimes; her brain-cell development is tardy.
She reminds me of Audrey; abnormally wide eyes, and the dazed expression. Sometimes I wonder if Audrey is socially...challenged. The last time I attempted to be friendly (which was in year 7), I greeted her as she made her way to her locker, hugging a pile of books (which I believe were dictionaries). Her eyes widened to approximately twice their size, all her limbs froze, and her precious books crashed onto the floor.
I am not exaggerating here. This is how sad this school is getting.
I don't even think she has any friends. Perhaps she's friend with that Anna(I've found out that she is actually Anna, not Annie. Anna [KATHERINE, WHAT'S YOUR LAST NAME?]) Wherever there's one of them, you'd sure to find the other lurking around somewhere.
Take this lunch-break for example:
I walked pass Audrey, singing her heart out on the old couch in the music school. She was rather out-of-tune and squeaky - like the music one gets when pedalling a rusty old bicycle. She'd be perfect to sing the Speech Night songs. They suit her style: piercing and gay [IS THIS TOO MEAN?]She didn't realise I was there though, so I just hurried out. I was too shocked to confront her. Anyways, I needed to check my make-up before I meet up with Henry. I like the sound of that name: Henry, Hen-ry, Henrie (in French accent).
As I was just fixing my foundation (it was rubbing off. The quality of Channel foundation is terrible. I'm only using it because it's in fashion now), I glimpsed Anna staring at me as she attempted to edge around the group to go into the music school. Probably going to support Audrey in her ambition - whatever it may be. Why would anyone randomly sing (badly) in public?
They must be friends. I wonder how Anna stands Audrey's singing.
Pray OWCNBN, dad doesn't find out about me wagging. While he doesn't mind me joining the Peroxide Group (as those retarded Asians labeled us), he expected me to focus on my studies. He would seriously kill me if he finds out I'm going out with a guy. Even knowing a guy would result in me being moved to another school, and this time forced to hang out with "studious friends".
I am leading a double life. This is not healthy is it?
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Anna the Average #2
Wow. Audrey sounds really nasally and screechy when she sings. I'll die if she's auditioning for a solo part at Speech Night. Like, literally, I will die.
BUT WAIT. One might have the impression that I had purposefully gone our of my way to hear Know-It-All Audrey sing. THAT IS NOT THE CASE.
But like, yeah. I'll start from the beginning.
The Peroxides [I mean, don't you think that this is such a befitting name? LOL] were blocking up the corridor with their ridiculous and mindless conversations that usually run like this:
"Like, Jen, don't you just love my new mascara? It's like Channel. Don't I look hot?"
"Oh my gosh, you so do Phillipa. I think maybe I'll get Channel next time too. Then that'll complete my whole Channel set! This is like, so exciting! (high-pitched squeal) I can't stand anything other than Channel. I mean, everything else is just so out, you know?"
"That is like, so true. But Dolce and Gabana is so cool too."
"Um, can you not butt into our conversations Sarah? Jen and I are like, kinda talking at the moment."
I noticed Autumn was sitting with a compact open while checking some invisible spot on her cheek. You're obviously blind Autumn, the pimple volcano is on your forehead. Hasn't anyone ever told you that foundation is not good for the skin during puberty?
Pfft.. probably not. I wonder what will happen if I slip that piece of advice in her Kris Kringle note? I hope she liked my touch with the book.
But shame Anna! You're wandering from the main point.
Long story short: Because the Peroxides were taking their blessed time clearing the corridor, I had forgotten that I had a music lesson, then remembered and rushed over to the music school. Realizing that I was probably early, I sat there, craving for one of the fatty potato cakes that were selling fast in the canteen (transfatty foods are the bane of my existence). It was then that I heard the most horrible noise.
Shock. Horror.
It was Audrey singing a rendition of You Raise Me Up. Badly. Very Badly.
Rumors are that Audrey, the Teacher's Pet, has perfect pitch and is apparently, highly musical. So not true. SHE SINGS OUT OF TUNE. LIKE REALLY OUT OF TUNE.
I think I must have made a gasping sound because Audrey suddenly stopped and looked in my direction. Her eyes looked unnaturally big at that moment.
I quickly exited the room, seeking a way to not hear her sing again. On my way out, I noticed that a yellow post-it was on Audrey's glasses and I made a comment of it. I wonder if she heard me? She looked quite devastated.
Poor girl, I almost feel sorry for her. She must be so embarrassed. I think I'll pretend I was temporarly deaf that day.
Then again, maybe I should be the one to tell her to not sing in public, let alone for an audition.
Oh good God. What a dillemma.
BUT WAIT. One might have the impression that I had purposefully gone our of my way to hear Know-It-All Audrey sing. THAT IS NOT THE CASE.
But like, yeah. I'll start from the beginning.
The Peroxides [I mean, don't you think that this is such a befitting name? LOL] were blocking up the corridor with their ridiculous and mindless conversations that usually run like this:
"Like, Jen, don't you just love my new mascara? It's like Channel. Don't I look hot?"
"Oh my gosh, you so do Phillipa. I think maybe I'll get Channel next time too. Then that'll complete my whole Channel set! This is like, so exciting! (high-pitched squeal) I can't stand anything other than Channel. I mean, everything else is just so out, you know?"
"That is like, so true. But Dolce and Gabana is so cool too."
"Um, can you not butt into our conversations Sarah? Jen and I are like, kinda talking at the moment."
I noticed Autumn was sitting with a compact open while checking some invisible spot on her cheek. You're obviously blind Autumn, the pimple volcano is on your forehead. Hasn't anyone ever told you that foundation is not good for the skin during puberty?
Pfft.. probably not. I wonder what will happen if I slip that piece of advice in her Kris Kringle note? I hope she liked my touch with the book.
But shame Anna! You're wandering from the main point.
Long story short: Because the Peroxides were taking their blessed time clearing the corridor, I had forgotten that I had a music lesson, then remembered and rushed over to the music school. Realizing that I was probably early, I sat there, craving for one of the fatty potato cakes that were selling fast in the canteen (transfatty foods are the bane of my existence). It was then that I heard the most horrible noise.
Shock. Horror.
It was Audrey singing a rendition of You Raise Me Up. Badly. Very Badly.
Rumors are that Audrey, the Teacher's Pet, has perfect pitch and is apparently, highly musical. So not true. SHE SINGS OUT OF TUNE. LIKE REALLY OUT OF TUNE.
I think I must have made a gasping sound because Audrey suddenly stopped and looked in my direction. Her eyes looked unnaturally big at that moment.
I quickly exited the room, seeking a way to not hear her sing again. On my way out, I noticed that a yellow post-it was on Audrey's glasses and I made a comment of it. I wonder if she heard me? She looked quite devastated.
Poor girl, I almost feel sorry for her. She must be so embarrassed. I think I'll pretend I was temporarly deaf that day.
Then again, maybe I should be the one to tell her to not sing in public, let alone for an audition.
Oh good God. What a dillemma.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Audrey #2
It's actually Anna's turn but I just felt like writing, so, yeah. WHEN YOU SEE THIS YOU MUST WRITE YOUR POST !!
-the lovely audrey enters-
--
Sometimes I find myself wondering why I even bother to go out in public. I mean, let's think about this.
1. I have no friends.
2. I have no real need to go to school as I can study at home.
3. There's actually no point in studying as despite the fact that I am a nerd i am failing maths.
4. Okay, so my self esteem is so low it's not funny. Going out in public just makes it get lower.
5. It's really hot right now and there's no aircon outside.
6. Everytime I go out, people stare at me strangely. Perhaps it is my round glasses, which I purchased several years ago during the dark time in my life when I was needlessly obsessed with Harry Potter.
7. I also cannot sing in public. What's the point of singing if you have nobody to sing to? Or anything to sing about?
8. Actually, i have many things to sing about. Such as the fact that I will never accomplish anything.
9. Someone who will never accomplish anything is just troublesome to the rest of society. God, I mean, if you were a normal person, would you like to talk to someone like me? It’s really no wonder I have no friends. I have nothing to offer in a friendship. Really, there is just no point in living. I wonder what would happen if I -
Sigh.
Suicidal tendencies die hard.
NO, WAIT. I HAVE A REASON FOR LIVING.
I've decided on my new goal! I think that I will write a song expressing the awfulness of my life. How amazing. What an appropriate place to think of a goal such as this! Yes, right now I'm sitting in the music school again. Oh, look - my oboe teacher just waved at me. How nice of her! I feel really touched, actually. A simple wave means a lot when you have no friends.
Wow, I feel a lot better already! I wonder if I could be bipolar -
Oh my god. Who is that. Is that who i think it is??
Is that Autumn?? WHAT THE HELL IS SHE DOING HERE??
Let me explain exactly why someone like Autumn [lastname] should never be in the music school. Well, the music school is a place only for musical nerds like me and those overly responsible students who seem to be everywhere, like Anna. Very few blonde people ever set foot inside the music school, lest they be contaminated with Nerdymusic Stigma. Except for the few blonde musicians out there, that is.
Autumn is not only blonde but she is, in fact, an Asian who has dyed her hair blonde. In fact, I can see her black regrowths right now. They're the same colour as her eyeliner. God, how much makeup does she wear??
Note: I do not own any makeup and I would never ever dye my hair blonde for fear of being socially ostracised from the rest of the known world.
Anyway, Autumn is for some reason mysteriously popular with our teachers, despite the fact that she's one of the group [what's the name of this group? The Blondes? like. no. please.]. In fact, I would find it extremely annoying if I didn't harbour a secret and embarrassing admiration for the girl.
I think it's quite understandable though that a nerd like me would admire someone like Autumn. Teachers love her; she has so many friends it's not funny, and even though she's occasionally bitchy it's quite mild compared to some of the other members of [that group]. Not to mention that with her blonde hair, black eyes and confident manner, she is really overly attractive.
No wonder so many guys like her.
She's walking by right now, with her head raised confidently, a perfect constant smile plastered on her perfect face. Just looking at her makes me feel like a complete failure at life.
...in complete disregard of Music School convention, she's talking to someone on her mobile phone. The newest, most expensive model, obviously. It's rumored that her family is extremely rich and lives in a mansion. Then again, it's also rumored that she's had implants.
Actually, there might be some substance to that theory after all, now that I listen to her conversation. "...guys kept looking down my shirt...gosh, who do they think they are? As if i would ever go out with someone like that...don't they know...fake..."
Her voice is of a medium pitch and has a slight Asian accent.
Sigh.
Ah, she's gone now. I don't think she saw me, luckily. People like Autumn should not be forced to witness the utter nerdiness of my person. Who knows? Drawn in like the millions of guys she attracts, I might wave. My glasses might fall off. Who knows what might happen.
I pity those poor boys who set eyes on Autumn; she's never gone out with a single one. Their love is always unrequited. And I know that she flirts with them. God, I hope that she never meets...
Oh dear. Must not think of him.
Oh, god. It's so painful.
I really didn't need to bring that up.
Ahh, anyway, that brings me to the last reason I should never go out in public.
10. I know that I will only ever love one guy and that he doesn't even like me so there's no point in going out as I am in utter despair and will only depress others with the grey upsetting cloud hanging over me.
-the lovely audrey enters-
--
Sometimes I find myself wondering why I even bother to go out in public. I mean, let's think about this.
1. I have no friends.
2. I have no real need to go to school as I can study at home.
3. There's actually no point in studying as despite the fact that I am a nerd i am failing maths.
4. Okay, so my self esteem is so low it's not funny. Going out in public just makes it get lower.
5. It's really hot right now and there's no aircon outside.
6. Everytime I go out, people stare at me strangely. Perhaps it is my round glasses, which I purchased several years ago during the dark time in my life when I was needlessly obsessed with Harry Potter.
7. I also cannot sing in public. What's the point of singing if you have nobody to sing to? Or anything to sing about?
8. Actually, i have many things to sing about. Such as the fact that I will never accomplish anything.
9. Someone who will never accomplish anything is just troublesome to the rest of society. God, I mean, if you were a normal person, would you like to talk to someone like me? It’s really no wonder I have no friends. I have nothing to offer in a friendship. Really, there is just no point in living. I wonder what would happen if I -
Sigh.
Suicidal tendencies die hard.
NO, WAIT. I HAVE A REASON FOR LIVING.
I've decided on my new goal! I think that I will write a song expressing the awfulness of my life. How amazing. What an appropriate place to think of a goal such as this! Yes, right now I'm sitting in the music school again. Oh, look - my oboe teacher just waved at me. How nice of her! I feel really touched, actually. A simple wave means a lot when you have no friends.
Wow, I feel a lot better already! I wonder if I could be bipolar -
Oh my god. Who is that. Is that who i think it is??
Is that Autumn?? WHAT THE HELL IS SHE DOING HERE??
Let me explain exactly why someone like Autumn [lastname] should never be in the music school. Well, the music school is a place only for musical nerds like me and those overly responsible students who seem to be everywhere, like Anna. Very few blonde people ever set foot inside the music school, lest they be contaminated with Nerdymusic Stigma. Except for the few blonde musicians out there, that is.
Autumn is not only blonde but she is, in fact, an Asian who has dyed her hair blonde. In fact, I can see her black regrowths right now. They're the same colour as her eyeliner. God, how much makeup does she wear??
Note: I do not own any makeup and I would never ever dye my hair blonde for fear of being socially ostracised from the rest of the known world.
Anyway, Autumn is for some reason mysteriously popular with our teachers, despite the fact that she's one of the group [what's the name of this group? The Blondes? like. no. please.]. In fact, I would find it extremely annoying if I didn't harbour a secret and embarrassing admiration for the girl.
I think it's quite understandable though that a nerd like me would admire someone like Autumn. Teachers love her; she has so many friends it's not funny, and even though she's occasionally bitchy it's quite mild compared to some of the other members of [that group]. Not to mention that with her blonde hair, black eyes and confident manner, she is really overly attractive.
No wonder so many guys like her.
She's walking by right now, with her head raised confidently, a perfect constant smile plastered on her perfect face. Just looking at her makes me feel like a complete failure at life.
...in complete disregard of Music School convention, she's talking to someone on her mobile phone. The newest, most expensive model, obviously. It's rumored that her family is extremely rich and lives in a mansion. Then again, it's also rumored that she's had implants.
Actually, there might be some substance to that theory after all, now that I listen to her conversation. "...guys kept looking down my shirt...gosh, who do they think they are? As if i would ever go out with someone like that...don't they know...fake..."
Her voice is of a medium pitch and has a slight Asian accent.
Sigh.
Ah, she's gone now. I don't think she saw me, luckily. People like Autumn should not be forced to witness the utter nerdiness of my person. Who knows? Drawn in like the millions of guys she attracts, I might wave. My glasses might fall off. Who knows what might happen.
I pity those poor boys who set eyes on Autumn; she's never gone out with a single one. Their love is always unrequited. And I know that she flirts with them. God, I hope that she never meets...
Oh dear. Must not think of him.
Oh, god. It's so painful.
I really didn't need to bring that up.
Ahh, anyway, that brings me to the last reason I should never go out in public.
10. I know that I will only ever love one guy and that he doesn't even like me so there's no point in going out as I am in utter despair and will only depress others with the grey upsetting cloud hanging over me.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Autumn
“My Life as a Fake” – Gosh what a bitch.
I seriously can not believe my Kris Kringle put the clue inside that book. What is wrong with her? What is wrong with all those Asians in my class? They are so racist and can't seem to accept the fact that everyone is different. Just because I'm Asian, it does not mean that I have to act like a stereotypical nerd - I mean look at Audrey. She's the perfect Asian stereotype. Okay, maybe it's not so much racism, but they seem to expect that if you're Asian, you have to act like a freak. Get a life.
I give up on these people.
My hair needs redying. Maybe I'll do it red this time, or brown - i am, after all, Autumn! Actually, I think red (just to spite those Asians).
Anyways, the science teacher asked me to go to this science extension thing yesterday. This, of course surprised my friends: "Autumn, she, like, loves you. Look at Audrey, she's jealous."
So I arrived at Soverynerdy Grammar about half an hour early because for some reason, my teacher thought it starts at 9:00am instead of 9:30. And thus I wasted half an hour of my life counting how many windows the school library has. The whole wall is practically made of glass, so my endeavour was quite challenging as I debated whether a section should be counted as one window when it is not entirely divided from the adjacent one by a metal beam. I decided to count these as half a window.My iPod didn't offer me much entertainment you see. The guys there, of course, were all gawking at me because, well, I bet they have never seen a girl in their life. But considering that I actually put more effort into my make-up this morning...
Some of them are quite hot.
Well, the program finally started - there were some MLC and Strathcona girls there as well, but they were in year 8 and 9. Great.
During the breaks, I went to the cafeteria to buy my lunch and all the guys were shamelessly flirting with me. I must say, the food there was a rip-off. It tasted like plastic - uncooked plastic. A group of Asian guys came and sat at my table and tried to start a conversation. They seemed desperate. One of the guys asked for my number and the whole group just laughed their heads off. They were desperate - but I thought I'd give them a chance.
I let one of them walk me back to the science lab.
----
I must really redye my hair. What's-her-face was staring at me during maths. Her name is Annie, or something...maybe Anna. My maths class consists only of Asians, and they all think that the school made a mistake and placed me in the Acceleration Maths class. How discriminating! What happened to not judging people from their outer appearance? Sometimes I feel like shoving my results under their nose. However, I obviously can not do that, otherwise words would spread around the school: "you know that blonde chick? Her average mark is 100%". I would then become a total reject.
Autumn - that's me. People only sees its brilliant colours and the gliding leaves. They never notice the bare branches behind the array of beauty.
I seriously can not believe my Kris Kringle put the clue inside that book. What is wrong with her? What is wrong with all those Asians in my class? They are so racist and can't seem to accept the fact that everyone is different. Just because I'm Asian, it does not mean that I have to act like a stereotypical nerd - I mean look at Audrey. She's the perfect Asian stereotype. Okay, maybe it's not so much racism, but they seem to expect that if you're Asian, you have to act like a freak. Get a life.
I give up on these people.
My hair needs redying. Maybe I'll do it red this time, or brown - i am, after all, Autumn! Actually, I think red (just to spite those Asians).
Anyways, the science teacher asked me to go to this science extension thing yesterday. This, of course surprised my friends: "Autumn, she, like, loves you. Look at Audrey, she's jealous."
So I arrived at Soverynerdy Grammar about half an hour early because for some reason, my teacher thought it starts at 9:00am instead of 9:30. And thus I wasted half an hour of my life counting how many windows the school library has. The whole wall is practically made of glass, so my endeavour was quite challenging as I debated whether a section should be counted as one window when it is not entirely divided from the adjacent one by a metal beam. I decided to count these as half a window.My iPod didn't offer me much entertainment you see. The guys there, of course, were all gawking at me because, well, I bet they have never seen a girl in their life. But considering that I actually put more effort into my make-up this morning...
Some of them are quite hot.
Well, the program finally started - there were some MLC and Strathcona girls there as well, but they were in year 8 and 9. Great.
During the breaks, I went to the cafeteria to buy my lunch and all the guys were shamelessly flirting with me. I must say, the food there was a rip-off. It tasted like plastic - uncooked plastic. A group of Asian guys came and sat at my table and tried to start a conversation. They seemed desperate. One of the guys asked for my number and the whole group just laughed their heads off. They were desperate - but I thought I'd give them a chance.
I let one of them walk me back to the science lab.
----
I must really redye my hair. What's-her-face was staring at me during maths. Her name is Annie, or something...maybe Anna. My maths class consists only of Asians, and they all think that the school made a mistake and placed me in the Acceleration Maths class. How discriminating! What happened to not judging people from their outer appearance? Sometimes I feel like shoving my results under their nose. However, I obviously can not do that, otherwise words would spread around the school: "you know that blonde chick? Her average mark is 100%". I would then become a total reject.
Autumn - that's me. People only sees its brilliant colours and the gliding leaves. They never notice the bare branches behind the array of beauty.
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